Why Do We Have to Suffer So Much in Life? – Modern Koans

Do we have to suffer so much in life? That is the $64,000 question. First the good news, The nature of the question is actually hopeful. It hints at an intuition that perhaps it’s not always necessary to suffer. I do think that it isn’t always necessary and that we can influence how we respond to life.

So what could possibly change suffering and do we have control over it? Well the short, but not very helpful answer is that sometimes it’s a choice.

How much control do we have over what goes on in our lives? Really, very little. But how we respond to…
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How much control do we have over what goes on in our lives? Really, very little. But how we respond to it, perhaps we have some say. We can think it out, but really the answer comes in noticing, seeing how we suffer, and taking steps to change where we can and accept the situations where we can’t.

Easier said than done. So let’s talk less about it and do.

Meditation on Suffering

Part 1

Imagine a place or time of joy in your life.
Once you’ve brought this moment into memory, allow yourself to remember all the sensations associated with that moment.
Remember the weather, the temperature, were you indoors or out. What was the lighting. What people or environmental elements were important in this memory.
Remember the smells and, if applicable, the tastes of that special moment.
What other pleasurable sensations were involved, allow your body to remember each of them thoroughly for the next 20 or thirty seconds.
After you’ve thoroughly enjoyed this memory, pick a word that best describes the experience. It could be Joy, bliss, happiness, satisfaction, or some other word.
Allow yourself to take a deep in breath and gently exhale the word on your breath. Let the full memory envelop it.

Set the power of that word and breath to the side for a few moments, we’ll use it again shortly.

A Meditation on Suffering
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Part 2

Now imagine a troubling time in your life. Don’t go for the worst, think of something typical that might bother you at work or in your relationship, but nothing traumatic.
Notice how your body and mind instantly respond to the new memory. Notice the feeling and emotions centered in your heart, in your stomach, and in your mind. Spend about 10 seconds with this memory.
Now return to your word from the first part of the meditation. Take a deep inhale and gently exhale the word, returning to the first memory and all of its sensations.

Now What?

OK. What was that like?

Let’s pull a few lessons from the meditation and look at it through the lens of suffering.

First Observation: Notice that by invoking memories we can evoke a response. This hints that there are choices we can make about how we feel including frustration, disappointment, etc.
Second Observation: When we have control over our mind we can exert control of how the body/mind responds
Third Observation: We have limited control over our environment and sensory inputs.

I think a loose conclusion is that yes, there are opportunities to reduce suffering. But there are also situations where we are powerless.

So, where does that leave you?

I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Modern Koans is an ongoing series that recognizes that good questions are often more important then their answers.

The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man. ― G.K. Chesterton

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