Response to: Askers vs. Guessers: Which one are you?

I'll admit that I struggle to find a good balance between readercentric blog posts and writery posts. I hate talking about my books all the time because I dislike sounding like a braggart. And frankly, I don't find myself all that interesting. So when I come across something that I think will be of interest to everyone, I'm doubly excited.

This is one of those posts.

When I find an interesting blog post I often comment there but sometimes I like to come back here and collect my thoughts, expand a little, and present a post for my future reference and yours. That said…

Here's another fascinating blog post from Isabel Swift.

"In some families, you grow up with the expectation that it's OK to ask for anything at all, but you gotta realize you might get no for an answer. This is Ask Culture.

In Guess Culture, you avoid putting a request into words unless you're pretty sure the answer will be yes. "

Until I read this post I never really considered the two sides of the coin.

I think I'm a Guesser trying to be an Asker. In other words, I try to read between the lines and sort of flirt around the edges of things but have a hard time asking for what I want. For instance, I always (ALWAYS) get nervous when I have a new book coming out. I feel very insecure in asking readers to check it out, much less buy it.

But I'm overcoming that more and more thanks to some awesome readers who push (and sometimes shove.)

I think the key to being an asker or a guesser is to be respectful and professional. I don't think there's anything wrong, for instance, with pitching your book to an editor or agent so long as you do so in an appropriate manner.

For instance, I recently saw an editor (or was it an agent?Unfortunately, I digested the advice and didn't note the advice giver – oops) on twitter mention not to pitch to an agent or editor in a bar, in a restroom, on their blog, twitter, facebook, etc.

That makes sense to me. Those are intimate, private areas where the editor or agent is having personal time. In other words they're off duty!

In the same vein, readers requesting promo materials is A-okay to me. That's why we authors have them made. It's okay for readers ask authors questions and engage in conversations so long as they're respectful. And I hope it's okay for authors to do the same.

Regardless of your type, I'd say the key is always respect. Respect for others time and talent and energy. And professionalism. Politeness goes a long way whether you're guessing or asking. (Luckily, I have the politest, best readers in the world!)