Things My Neighbor Has Given Away on Nextdoor

Two Sad Orchids

Yay for the digital age and how easy it is to connect with our neighbors without ever leaving our homes and putting a face and name together! I speak, of course, of Nextdoor, the hyperlocal social network designed to connect everyone in a geographic designation through emails that may make you believe everyone around you is a racial-profiling hoarder.

I’ve written about it before, but lately our Nextdoor Listserv has reached a new level of absurdity.

I speak, of course, of the neighbor who appears to be de-cluttering her house halfheartedly, one drawer at a time, and even then not all at once. I think she is Marie Kondo-ing her life, but she only got to page 16 of the book before she thought, “I’ve got the basics, let’s get started.” Not for her the comprehensive clean out where you thoroughly organize room by room, culminating in a garage sale or a satisfying trip to Goodwill, and then bask in the home’s sparseness for the four weeks it takes to make it a mess again. No, she likes to do things slowly. Sporadically. Eclectically.

Three or four times a day I get the email describing what this woman has for the taking, if someone is savvy enough and quick enough to come by and grab it. I present, unedited, a sample compilation of what she has for the taking from just the past week (and it has taken the full week to offer all of this up.)

Two sad orchids
Used pallets
Hanging toiletry bag
Doggie tennis ball “Well loved but not too much. Got lots of life left.”
Box of bicycle cleaning stuff. “All quite a few years old.”
Several baskets
Cork board
Hot chocolate powder
Poster mailing tube. “18″-24″ long. Don’t have a way to measure.”
Used shower curtains
Dish towels

I don’t fault her for giving stuff away; it’s better than sending it to the landfill. I just wonder if she couldn’t take a whole Saturday and one of her several baskets, pile in all the stuff, set it on the curb with a big “FREE” sign and have a dented car with a dragging muffler pull up and take it within 26 seconds, like the rest of us do here in Oakland.

My fellow work-from-home-in-the-hood friend Neil and I like to forward these notices on to one another with commentary, like, “Get cracking or someone will beat you to the hot chocolate powder!” and “Run!! Grab that old bike stuff for your husband.” Yesterday Neil emailed me something he’s thinking of putting on Nextdoor:

Rusty old crappy propane bbq needs some tender loving care.  Come pick it up so you can cook yourself some rusty hamburgers.

I’d dare him to do it, but I think we know who would come get it. And would give it away again, one rusty burger at a time.

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