I’ve written before about how Wyatt confronts us a lot. Not...

I’ve written before about how Wyatt confronts us a lot. Not aggressively, but he is very vocal about things he sees as injustices. That sounds like a great quality to have until you factor in that he has yet to develop the ability to determine where these injustices fall on the sliding scale of injustices. He reacts to a neighbor kid cheating at hide-and-seek with the same sense of duty as when we tell him he can’t have a snack because dinner is almost ready.

This behavior ramps up at different times of the year, like a pendulum swinging—for months at a stretch he’s accommodating and thoughtful and then for the next three months he feels he’s the only one who really knows what’s going on. My wife predicted this latest swing back to the confrontational. As track season ended, she said, “Wait until he’s not running laps three times a week.” She was right. Exercise and activities keep him level. He’s not taking any sports right now, so over the Memorial Day holiday it all seemed to come to a head, with a weekend-long series of debates and discussions that often left us barking at him to pick his battles better.

That’s the main thing for me: I hope he learns to pick his battles. Right now, there’s a kid—let’s call him Shmecky—with whom many kids like to play. Shmecky bosses everyone around all the time and Wyatt calls him out on it, says it’s not cool to do so or be the only one to make up the rules for every single game. Because of that, Shmecky often gets the other kids to treat Wyatt badly. They make him eternally “it” for whatever game they’re playing or they just actively exclude him. Clearly, Wyatt’s right, Shmecky is using his power for evil.

We told Wyatt to play with other kids because removing himself from the situation removes Shmecky’s power. He did this for a while and it did work. But, Wyatt still sees this kid bossing others around, so he can’t just leave it alone. He wants Shmecky to change his behavior so everyone can have fun. With Wyatt as the lone dissenter, however, he’s outnumbered and outgunned every time.

This simply is a battle he can’t win. And it pisses me the fuck off.

As a parent, I keep encouraging him to let this battle go, to move on and play with others. As someone like Wyatt who hates injustices, I want him to just keep annoying the hell out of Shmecky every day, even if that means he comes home in tears like he often does.

There’s no way to say, “Yes, Wyatt, you’re doing what’s right. Now, stop doing it.” So, we keep encouraging him to play with others. And in the meantime, I’ll continue to debate with him about why he can’t have a snack before dinner or video game time on a school night. Because maybe if he hones his battle skills with us, he’ll be able to determine which ones on the playground are worth the risk and heartache.