Psst - keep this quiet

Hi there. My name is Winston Kennedy and I want to complain about the way I'm treated by my slave, Barbara. She spends far too much time sitting on her backside with a shiny flat thing on her lap when she could have a fluffy thing - me! Trying to get her attention when she's writing is almost impossible. I have needs! Often. Frequently. Food being one of them. I'm getting fed up of eating the same thing every day - what dog can live on chicken breast? - and her expecting me to be grateful for it. What's worse, she keeps dragging me outside for a walk and then not letting me sniff every lamppost. She rips the fun out of my life. I don't ask for much--just a few treats every now and again, her NOT TO LEAVE ME ON MY OWN - and why can't I go in the loo with her?? What happens in there? And why did she buy me that squeaky ball only to get cross when I run round the house and squeak it??
If you'd like to read about my adventures - which frankly are a lot more exciting than her scribblings, I have my own blog. www.winstonken.wordpress.com

That's a picture of me - on the right - with my mother and sister. I'm the good-loooking one, obviously.