Trust30 – #13 – Work as Reflection

Do your work, and I shall know you. Do your work, and you shall reinforce yourself. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Back in post #9, I talked a little about the difference between finding yourself and defining yourself. Well, here we are.

Creative work is especially interesting this way. I think I have a good sense of the kind of person Jim Butcher is because of my reading of The Dresden Files and The Codex Alera (which is one of my favorite heroic fantasy series ever and if you haven't read it, Oh My Heck Go Fix That Right Now). Likewise, I think I have a good sense of the kind of person Tracy Hickman is, or Alan Dean Foster, or any number of other authors whose work I read and enjoy. It may or may not be true.

But what about non-creative work? In the day job, I herd words around, but it's extremely technical contract language. Can you see me in that work? Maybe a piece of me? Maybe. Can I see the work of a bricklayer or a blacksmith or a ditch-digger and gain an insight into that person? Maybe. John Henry defined himself with his pickaxe, after all. And that's a two way street. John Henry chose the pickaxe. And the pickaxe – the work – shaped him. You define yourself by choosing and doing your work.

Again, there's always this sort of chicken and egg thing that people could get into about how do I know what my work is, and how do I know I'm right, and all of that navel-gazing, self-referential b.s. Heck, in the last post, I talk about how being open to all the alternatives can be a form of resistance. Analysis paralysis. (I am totally and intimately familiar with this.) Screw that. Do some work. And you'll know if it's the right thing. I've never really admitted it to myself or to anyone else before, but there was a part of me that really enjoyed farming. There's something incredibly soothing about driving up and down the field in a huge tractor, cultivating, plowing, planting, etc. The sun going down. The low thrum of the engine.

Of course, the whole time I was out there, what was I doing? Making up stories. Which I suppose should have been an indication.

Quit worrying about the RIGHT path, and make a decision. Trust yourself enough to recognize that a) if it's the wrong path, you can get off it. and b) you either right now have the ability or can develop the ability to discern and choose the right path. You'll know it when you're on it. And do the best you can right now. I'm not kicking myself too hard for the writing I took to the writers group, because it was the best I knew how to do. Now I know how to do a little better, and the work will improve. And so will I.