Take Me Out to the Ball Game
Take Me Out to the Ball Game
by Nancy Martin
I finished my book last week, and after three days, the Deadline Madness tension was still preventing me from sleeping through the night. My husband had the cure:
Tickets to the baseball game.
You'd think for me, a person who--I admit this with shame--really doesn't know much about baseball, tickets are a waste of money. But my dear husband often gets access to the fabulous seats owned by his employer, and he's supposed to treat customers to a great night at the ball park. When the customers want to bring their wives, I'm supposed to come along, but I rarely do. But this weekend, the customer was---our new son-in-law! (Who works like a fiend in his up-and-coming business related to health care, so he'd going to be a gazillionaire.) So on Saturday night we took my daughter and s-i-l and headed downtown to the new ballpark here in Pittsburgh, which is so charming I can't tell you. It's like an oldtime ball park, except with modern conveniences like extra bathrooms for women and a magnificient view of the river and the city.
First, we walked along the river before the game to people watch. Near the ball park is a fountain with a sign that clearly says, NO SWIMMING OR WADING, but it's full of toddlers in bathing suits. Two mothers in bikinis dangled their feet in the fountain, too. Since the city had just announced they were spraying by helicopter for West Nile virus, I thought maybe this was a bad idea, but I didn't offer that opinion aloud.
We got into the ball park and grabbed messy sandwiches. Pulled pork with pierogies on top. Im not kidding. This is Pittsburgh. We're serious about pierogies.
After wiping our hands on a gazillion napkins which really didn't help with the sticky factor (which is not a plug for my new book, honest) we found our seats. Eight rows back from the visitors' dugout. Let me tell you, there are no better seats to watch the game. You can hear the players talking. Watch all the action. (There is a lot of re-arranging of--uh--cups, let me tell you.) Even I could follow what was happening in the game. And we helped the visiting Mets fans sing Happy Birthday to Jose Reyes, who was adorably gracious about it.
Thing is, though, even if you don't watch the game, there's something going on to entertain, and I'm not just talking about the funny videos playing on the Jumbotron.
There's The Wave. (I didn't record this. Somebody much higher up posted it on YouTube.)
And the Pierogi racing.
I told you, we're seriuos about pierogies, didn't I? Also not totally serious.
There's also ice cream served in little baseball hats.
The Pirate Parrot shoots hot dogs into the stands with a potato gun.
A young woman fainted behind us. We think she had been "over-served." The paramedics came and gave her an IV! Right there in the aisle! Which didn't look very sanitary, I must say. She revived, and they wheeled her out in a wheelchair, and she was embarrassed. Her boyfriend acted like a hero, though. I think he was digging the role.
Also behind us was a group of attractive young ladies who had previously worked for various sports franchises in some form of--uh--customer service. We think they were mostly t-shirt girls who helped the give away team merchandise, but we couldn't help overhearing them gossip (THEY WERE RIGHT BEHIND US, ALL RIGHT?) about players and stuff the franchise owners would probably prefer fans not hear about. But I have good material for a future book, letmetellyou.
After the game, we were treated to a concert by Huey Lewis and the News, which was pretty good considering how old those guys are.
And firework! Here in The Burgh, we do fireworks big. I mean BIG. It was a great show. Zambellis, the fireworks family, does shows all over the world, but they're based near Pittsburgh, so they always do huuuuuuge shows for the locals. I mean, the show at the mall in DC on the 4th of July is kinda puny compared to what they do for us here. And the t-shirt I want most in life is the one that says Pyro Crew.
We beat the Mets, by the way. Which was also nice. Although the Mets beat the Pirates the night before and the following afternoon, but we got to see the win.
The big excitement for me was that an unruly fan was chased around the stadium and finally arrested RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I mean, I could have patted him on the head. Except he was totally embarrassed about getting arrested, and I didn't want to make things worse. He was kinda cute, too. (I'm not dead, okay??) The city cops came and did the honors. They were very quiet about it, but how can you miss seeing handcuffs slapped on a guy smack in front of you?
When we lived in small towns and our girls were younger, we went to Little League games and swim meets and other summer sporting events where you rub elbows with your neighbors and maybe invite them back to your house for a picnic afterwards, and that's what summer is, right? My husband used to coach our girls in their softball league, and I watched the games with friends, sitting in folding chairs on the hillside. Big fun. But now and then we really enjoy big city life. A glitzy stadium with the Mets visiting. If this is what empty nesting is like, I'm all for it.
Do you have baseball memories?
By the way: We came home, and I fell into bed and slept for ten hours. Now I'm working on a new book.
