Beyond speech

People possibly think I make stuff up. I never do. If anything, I downplay it. La M and Jaine and other folk will testify to this. I am just saying.

That being out of the way, some explanation: things occasionally get broken in the shop, It happens. When it happens, we can either throw it out (a waste), or find something else to do with it, and the 'something else' usually involves giving it to the local animal sanctuary. They repair the broken stock, sell it in a jumble sale, and thus benefit animals.

Today, Sanctuary Woman comes to pick up some stuff.

Me: How are you guys getting on?

SW: OK! Except we had a baby pheasant at the weekend, who died. And a duck who is at the vet.

Me: Oh no - what's up with the duck?

SW: Its willy won't go back in.

Me: !!!

SW: [impervious to shock] no, his willy has got stuck and we can't get it back in.

Me: [finding power of speech] I had no idea that could happen to ducks. I didn't even know they had them. I thought they had a kind of slot.

SW: It happens a lot and the last time it happened, it dried up and fell off.

Me: [unable to stop myself] Good thing that doesn't happen to men, eh?

SW: [slightly startled] Um, I suppose so!

Trevor now tells me that his conversation with SW, who is elderly and very sincere, involved her attempts to replace the rogue avian dick - "we found some grease, but then suddenly there was stuff all over my hand." Nooooooooooooooooo!