Chasing the dream- and why not?

The past few weeks have been nothing short of chaotic.

Long story short, since the beginning of April I've graduated college, gotten into a new incredible relationship with an amazing guy, Spellbound by Fire got accepted to be published through Hellfire Publishing, I moved an hour away, decided to move again to the west coast, started a new job, got accepted into university for my Communications degree and somewhere in all that I made a decision.

I decided there has to be something more.

Don't get me wrong. These changes have all been for the better. But I've gone through a stage of re-evaluating my life. To backtrack a little, my new job is with a small, weekly newspaper. The stories cover town council meetings, tourist events in a national park; boat inspections being enforced out of fear of a quagga mussel infestation in lakes and so on.

Two or three years ago I thought journalism was what I wanted. Get paid to write? Hey, it was more than I was getting for my novels and poetry back then. I figured it was the way to go. But yesterday afternoon I was sitting in front of that same old computer at my desk, looking up wildlife information and waiting for people to phone or email me back. It's obvious that real-world journalism is nothing like it was in college. College was fun; there was a naive atmosphere that created a buzz. That buzz is gone for me.

I made the Facebook event for Spellbound by Fire's release date (found here: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid...) and I was getting all excited about it again. I glanced at the news story I was working on suddenly questioned- why?

I was questioning why I was sitting in front of a computer screen for eight hours a day writing about things I honestly don't really care about when in fact I could utilize that time for my novels. I wondered why I was going to spend over $14,000 and another year of my life in university for a degree that is not going to change the journalism job market. I'd end up right where I already am- job that isn't completely satisfying, underpaid, and looking seriously at housekeeping jobs again because they'd probably pay more than my diploma is right now. I wondered why work for someone else when I can work for myself and make myself happy.

Then I asked why not?

The thing is, we all question why we work for other people. I questioned why I was writing for someone else when I could write for myself. That in itself made its own decision.

So, the decision is that Victoria, BC is not the destination I intend on for university. I'm not even going to university. The acceptance letter got disregarded and I looked at my Spellbound by Fire Facebook page and smiled. Writing is the only thing I want to do with my life and why not? Why not write? Sure, a menial housekeeping job will be required to start but if I can truly achieve that dream of becoming a full-time novelist then why not go for it? Dreams remain dreams if you don't make them a reality. We make our own happiness.

Ocean view

I'm still going to the west coast. Come the end of June, the boyfriend, my dog, and I will be packing it up and heading west. No more small-town life, no more mediocrity. It's time to make life everything it can be and just live. I'm going to try my hand at self-publishing and see where it takes me. I'm hoping in the next year or so writing will be my full time gig and journalism will be little more than awesome college memories with some amazing people. It's a chance and a risk but no one ever got anywhere not taking any risks.

So that's the big update. And here's a song to go with it. Be unafraid to follow dreams, grasp them with everything you've got, and just love life for everything its worth. You only got one life.

Off to go work on Spellbound II! The future doesn't write itself, you write it for yourself.