The Mink Coat

The Mink Coat
by M Newman




“A shain punim kost gelt,” Moishe mused. “A pretty face costs money.” He was thinking, of course, about his lovely wife, Lily. Lily was not just another pretty face; indeed, his honey-haired wife had the face of an angel and the alluring body of a temptress. Her full, round breasts and firm, shapely tuches, separated by the narrowest of waists, would turn any man’s head. And those legs, “Oy, gevalt, what a set of wheels.” If all that were not enough, Lily had a heart of gold and made sure that he knew it belonged to him. His wife was the full package; the gantze megillah. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to be married to this shainkeit. Naturally, the poor guy was a sucker for any request this goddess ever made of him.

The aforementioned proverb had come to Moishe’s mind as he nervously studied the household budget. As in most months, there was barely enough to pay the bills. Moishe had a well-paying job with a sandblasting company in Williamsburg. The mortgage for their handsome little home in a brand new neighborhood near Brownsville was quite affordable as it was purchased under the G.I. Bill. One would think that under these conditions, Moishe and his wife would be living on easy street rather than on Rockaway Parkway. Unfortunately, this was not the case. Whatever Lily wanted, Lily got; and God knows, Lily wanted a lot. For example, shortly after moving to Brooklyn, the young couple agreed that they needed a family car. “This is not the Lower East Side,” Lily reminded Moishe. “It’s impossible to get around without a car. Why, it would take us hours just to travel to Rivington Street, in New York, to visit my mother.” This was true. Brooklyn was much more spread out than Manhattan and public transportation was not nearly as efficient. Naturally, Moishe agreed that an automobile was necessary. After weeks of careful research and shopping, Moishe came home with happy news. “Lily,” he shouted, excitedly, as he burst into the house. “I have found us a car. It’s a cute little two year old Ford. It has low mileage and no dents and…” Moishe stopped in mid-sentence, startled to see tears leaking from the eyes of his little prinzesin. “What’s wrong, darling,” he asked
. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong,” she replied, incredulously. “How would we face our neighbors, driving a little piece of drek like that? They would take us for kabtzonim.”
“Please, don’t cry, darling,” Moishe pleaded. “We won’t buy the Ford. I’ll look for a more acceptable car.” Secretly, though, Moishe could not see why the Ford was unacceptable or, for that matter, what was wrong with looking like paupers. Fact was, at this rate, they would soon be paupers. In any case, two days later Moishe drove home in a brand new, emerald green, 1952 Packard. “It’s beautiful, honey,” Lily gushed, as she hugged her husband passionately and showered him with kisses. “Let’s take it for a ride.” They drove to Coney Island, where they rode the Cyclone, screaming in joyful terror as the world’s highest roller coaster dove from dizzying heights at breakneck speed. When the ride was completed, Lily, exhilarated, convinced Moishe to purchase a re-ride. After their second ride on the roller coaster, the giddy couple walked up Surf Avenue to Steeplechase Park where they rode the Ferris Wheel and the Giant See Saw. They were not brave enough to try the Parachute Jump. From Steeplechase they walked back toward where the Packard was parked, stopping on the way at Nathan’s for hot dogs and beer.

When they finally returned to the car, night had fallen and the parking lot was deserted. They plopped down into the plush bench-style seat, hungrily inhaling the leathery, new-car scent; they feasted their eyes on the fancy dashboard, luxurious wood panel and leather-wrapped steering wheel. “Now, this is a car,” Lily gushed. “Thank you so much for buying it, my darling.” She enveloped him in a torrid embrace, inviting him to have his way with her. Moishe was hesitant at first, but in the end, he was unable to resist her seductive charms. Before long, the young lovers had inaugurated the spacious back seat. As they basked in the afterglow, Moishe lit a Lucky Strike for each of them and thought, once again, about how fortunate he was to be married to this marvelous woman. Lily lounged lazily on the lush leather seat with a blissful smile on her face. “What a beautiful car,” she thought. “But I think I would have preferred a Cadillac Fleetwood.”

***


Moishe arrived home, exhausted. He’d worked like a dog today and yet, his boss, “that khazer,” was not satisfied. Moishe was looking forward to a nice dinner with, maybe, a little glass of wine followed by a quiet evening watching the Sid Caesar Show on the new television set he had recently bought for Lily. Apparently, Lily had other plans. She greeted him at the door, dressed in a gorgeous and very sexy black dress that was fit for a queen and had obviously cost more than most queens could afford. “How do you like it, honey,” she asked, smiling coquettishly and turning every which way, allowing the dress to showcase her assets. “I bought it today at that new dress shop on Church Avenue.”
“It’s beautiful, Lily, but it must have cost a fortune,” Moishe replied, uneasily.
“It was pretty expensive, I suppose, but I wanted to look good for my darling husband.” She smiled again, embraced him affectionately and told him how much she loved him.
Moishe immediately forgot his misgivings about the cost of the dress and smiled. “Well darling,” he said, “you certainly do look beautiful but why are you all dressed up?”
“I have a big surprise for you,” she replied, happily. “My friend Dottie... you know, the one with the goyishe husband, had two front row tickets to a play at the Second Avenue Theater. Maurice Schwartz is appearing in a revival of Jacob Gordin’s Der Yiddishe Kenig Lier. For some crazy reason, Dottie’s husband made her sell the tickets. Lucky for us, Dottie thought of me first.”
“Such luck I needed like a hole in the head,” thought Moishe, sardonically.

They stopped for dinner at the Second Avenue Deli, famous as the home of the world’s best pastrami sandwich. Moishe had the pastrami on rye with french fries and a Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray soda. Lily ordered the matzoh ball soup and filet mignon, the most expensive item on the menu. When she finished the soup she had little appetite left and would only eat a couple of bites of her steak. “Nu,” she said, sheepishly, as she lay down her knife and fork, “It seems my eyes were bigger than my stomach. I can’t eat another bite; I’m so full, I could plotz.”
“Why don’t you take the leftovers home in a doggy bag,” Moishe suggested.
“Are you, meshugah,” she asked, incredulously. “How would it look to take a doggy bag to the theater?”

Moishe paid the bill, anxiously counting in his head the money that would be left until his next paycheck. His worries evaporated, though, when Lily pecked his cheek, and thanked him in her usual beguiling murmur, for the lovely dinner. He walked on air as they left the restaurant and headed for the theater, stopping, briefly in front of the deli to admire the Yiddish Walk of Fame: fifty brass plaques imbedded in the sidewalk, each with a star, commemorating the greatest stars of Yiddish theater.

***
Settled in a plush seat inside the ornate Second Avenue Theater, Moishe began to doze, sedated by the warmth and dim lighting of the auditorium, his recent heavy meal and his hard day’s work. His eyes snapped open and he nearly fell out of his seat as the first notes of the orchestra resounded throughout the playhouse and the curtain rose. Moishe was surprised to discover that The Yiddish King Lear was not a translation of Shakespeare’s King Lear. The play begins at a Purim feast at the home of David Moishele, a rich Jewish merchant in mid-19th century Vilna, a veritable “Grand Jew,” surrounded by family, friends and servants: in effect, a King in his court. As David Moishele begins to divide his empire, the story of Shakespeare’s Lear is recounted to him as a warning by his virtuous daughter who has defied his authority by becoming a student at St. Petersburg. David Moishele is destined to follow the same path to madness and ruin as did Shakespeare’s Lear. Unlike Shakespeare’s Lear, however, there is a relatively happy ending, with differences set right and David Moishele living to forgive and be reconciled with his daughters.

When questioned by Lily, Moishe had to admit that he’d enjoyed the play. He had identified with the main character, to an extent, because of the similarity of their names although he was well aware that all similarities ended right there. Moishe had no money to divide among his relatives and at the rate that Lily was spending, he would never have any. But when she told him she loved him and called him her gelibter all his money worries disappeared.


***

Lily was quite excited when she returned home from her Monday night Mah Jongg game. “You should see the mink coat my friend Esther’s husband bought for her. It’s gorgeous,” she gushed. And Malke says that her husband is buying her one, as well.” Moishe’s heart leaped into his throat because he knew what was coming next. “Moishe,” Lily asked, plaintively, “can I have a mink, too?”
“Lily,” he replied, “I wish I could afford to buy one for you but I can’t. Our bank account is nearly empty. If I bought you a mink coat, our savings would be kaput.” Moishe’s heart left his throat and sunk like a shtein when he saw Lily’s face. Her eyes had welled up and a tiny tear dripped down her cheek. She reminded him of a disappointed little girl who was trying, unsuccessfully, to be stoic. “Oh, please, Moishe, please can I have one,” she begged, childishly, beginning to lose control; the tears beginning to flow.
“Gottenyu, Lily; please stop crying. Don’t you know that I would buy it for you if I could? I would buy you anything if I had the money. Let me think about it. Perhaps I can figure something out.”
This made Lily feel a little better and the tears stopped. “Oh, Moishe,” she gushed, “I hope you can figure something out; I know you will.”

Lily truly loved Moishe from the bottom of her heart. He was the nicest man she had ever met; a real mensch. Her heart melted whenever he looked at her with his kind eyes or caressed her with his worshipping hands. She could not imagine a more loving, sensitive man and often thanked God for sending him to her. His absence, for even a short while, could make her meshugah. She didn’t know what she would do if he ever left her. At the same time, Lily hated herself for always kvetching about money and manipulating Moishe into buying her luxuries that she knew he couldn’t afford. Tonight, she felt terrible when she saw his pained expression as he apologized for his inability to buy her a mink coat. But what could she do? “A pretty girl like me deserves to have nice things,” she told herself. “I know my Moishe doesn’t mind making a little extra effort to make me happy.”

Moishe could not sleep. Frustration gnawed at him like vermin in the night. He wanted, so badly, to buy Lily the mink that she desired, but he could not think of how to afford it. Lily knew what was keeping him awake and tried, in vain, to soothe him. “It’s okay, honey,” she whispered. “You needn’t worry; I don’t really need the silly coat. Just relax, it’s late; gein shlofn.”

But Moishe still couldn’t sleep. Finally, shortly before dawn, he came up with a plan. He would take a second job. He knew of an opening on the night shift at the Schaefer brewery in Williamsburg. He could invent alibis to explain his absences at home and by Chanukah, he would have enough money to surprise Lily with the gift that she wanted.

It certainly wasn’t easy. Moishe would return home from his day job and have dinner and three nights a week he would make some sort of excuse and leave for his second job. Sometimes he claimed to be meeting his buddies for a beer; sometimes he told Lily that he was going to visit his mother as she wasn’t feeling well; sometimes he just didn’t come home from his day job and told Lily that he was working overtime. On the nights that he didn’t work, he was so exhausted that he fell asleep immediately after dinner.

Lily was miserable. She felt neglected and unloved. She was sick of sitting home alone and watching I Love Lucy on TV. She wanted a man in the house with whom she could converse or who would take her out to dinner and a movie; she wanted someone who would provide, “you should pardon the expression, satisfaction in the bedroom.” She wanted her husband.

“My husband is merely a rumor,” she thought, bitterly. The longer Moishe was away, the angrier Lily became. She was no fool; she did not believe her husband’s flimsy excuses. Her imagination was working overtime. She was sure that Moishe was up to no good. At first she thought that he must be doing something illegal with his nogoodnik friends but she eventually dropped that thought when she realized that neither he nor his friends were the type of men who would do anything that was against the law. After a time she decided that he was having an affair. “All the pieces fit,” she decided. “He stays out late and comes home smelling of beer; whenever he is home, he has no interest in me; I may as well be a piece of furniture.” This was certainly true. Nearly every night, even the ones when Moishe arrived home late from his night job, Lily would throw herself at him in desperation. Unfailingly, he would push his love-starved wife away, roll over and immediately drop off to sleep.” I wonder whom he is shtupping,” Lily grumbled, angrily. “I bet it’s my friend Ethel. Ever since her divorce that kurveh has had her eye on my Moishe.”


***

Finally, the ordeal came to an end. By erev Chanukah, Moishe had earned enough at the brewery to buy Lily her mink coat and even put a few dollars into his savings account. His boss at the sandblasting company closed shop early, gave out holiday bonuses and wished his men a good yontif. Moishe hurried to the brewery, collected his paycheck and informed the payroll secretary that he would no longer be working there. He took a train to the city and entered a store on E. 32nd Street. The clerk, a tall, elegant man wearing a neatly pressed black suit and a black yarmulke, recognized him at once and greeted him with a smile and a firm handshake. Moishe had picked out the coat for Lily weeks ago and had left a small deposit. Now, it was just a matter of paying the balance. He laid his money on the counter and the clerk, after placing it in the register, went back to the storeroom. Soon, he returned with a beautiful, black, full length mink coat. Moishe was overjoyed. Frankly, he could not understand what the big deal was about mink, but he kept imagining how happy the gift would make his Lily. These past months of torture will have been well worth seeing the look in Lily’s eyes and hearing her joyful shrieks when she received the mink. He looked forward to the celebration afterward. All the way home, he daydreamed about Lily coming to him dressed only in the mink, unbuttoning it and letting it fall to her feet before coming to him in a passionate embrace.

The evening was clear and cold as Moishe approached his house on Rockaway Parkway somewhat earlier than usual. “Wonderful,” he thought, happily. “Iz kalt. This is perfect weather for Lily to wear her new coat. She will be so happy.” He entered the house with a cheerful, “honey, I’m home.” Surprisingly, he was met by silence. Puzzled, he searched the house. “Where can she be,” he wondered. Then it dawned on him. “Ah, of course,” he realized. “It’s Chanukah. She’s out buying me a gift.” Moishe placed the box with the mink in it on the sofa and entered the kitchen to see what was in the Frigidaire. “I’m starving,” he said aloud. “I hope there is something good in there to eat.” Before he reached the refrigerator, however, his gaze alighted on a note on the kitchen table. He hurried to read the note, assuming that it would tell him where Lily was and when she would be home.

“Dear Moishe (the note read),
I never thought that I would see the day when I wrote a letter like this. You were always the love of my life and I thought that you felt the same about me. I have always depended on you to make me feel special; and you did. You made me feel like a queen.
I don’t know what happened the past few months to make you stop loving me but your neglect has broken my heart. I suppose it was that fat drabke, Ethel, who stole your love. Don’t think that I haven’t noticed that zoig flirting with you for ages. I must say, however, that I am surprised that you prefer her to me. But, my darling, if Ethel is the woman who makes you happy, I will not stand in your way. Your happiness is what is important to me.
I am leaving for Chicago with your cousin Jerry. He has been keeping me company in your absence and tending to my needs. Although I don’t believe that I will ever feel for him what I once felt for you, I know that he is a good man who will remain faithful to me, always. When I agreed to go with Jerry to Chicago, he did the most thoughtful thing. He told me that it gets very cold in the ‘Windy City’ and he promised to buy me a mink coat to keep me warm.
Moishe, I will miss you forever but this is the way it must be. Please do not try to find me and talk me out of this. It will not work. Your infidelity has broken my heart into too many pieces to repair.

Dolefully yours,
Lily”