"Seeing Your Lacrosse Sticks Won't Make Me More Interested in Them ..."

Because my friend Quinn makes me laugh, and delight in her ability to write incredibly witty treatises, and because this so well expresses this whole topic far far better than I could dream of:

Let me clear the air right now; there is no woman over the age of five who doesn't know you have a penis. Barring some sort of fireworks incident we're pretty certain it's there, and we also understand you know it's there. It probably looks much like other penises, but slightly different in its...