The Backhanded Optimist

I've never really considered myself a glass is half full kind of gal. When bad news comes my way, I tend to react like a soap opera actress, an exquisite blend of tragedy and drama with lots of sobbing and grande gestures thrown in for good measure.

But inevitably as I begin to process the news, things start changing, and within a few days disaster turns into delight. The most recent example of my backhanded optimism in action is when my husband and I decided that it might be time for me to go back to the day job.

Day 1

Husband: Well, if we want to move into a bigger house I think you'll probably have to go back to work.
Me: *Sobbing too hard to respond*
Husband: You worked before, was it really that bad?
Me: Sob gasp sob...writing. Sob gasp sob...neglected children. Sob gasp sob...END OF MY LIFE.
Husband: ....

Day 2

Me: So, I happened to talk to my old manager today and there's a job opening that sounds kind of perfect.
Husband: That's great.
Me: Whatever. I still hate you.

Day 6

Me: The interviews went REALLY well. This is going to be great! It was so nice to catch up with everyone that I used to work with and have a quiet house. I could totally get used to this.
Husband: ....

Day 25

Random friend: So, you're going back to work!
Me: Yeah. I decided that I'd have way more balance in my life if I went back to work. More time to write, the kids are thrilled to be able to go to camps and stuff. I think it's going to be the best of both worlds.
Random friend: Good for you!
Me: I know. Best decision I ever made.
Husband: Sigh.

And, that, my friends, is how you rewrite history. What's funny is that I don't even realize I'm doing it. End up with a book cover you hate? Make a couple of tweaks, write a blog post, add faux pink hair to your profile pic as a joke and take full credit for being a marketing genius! Who needs real optimism when the backhanded version is so much more fun?