Talk to Your Folks

Imma getting old. So are you. This year marks the year the first Baby Boomers are retiring. Starting in January 2011 more than 10,000 Boomers a day will turn 65, a pattern that will continue for the next 19 years. Whether you come from the generation of Me First, or any of subsequent generations, one thing we all have in common is that our parents are getting older too.

If you think talking to your kids about money is tough, try it with your parents. It is amazing just how resistant mommies and daddies can be when it comes to sharing their financial information with their kiddies. Even if those kiddies are all growed up and managing their own money just fine. But you'll do your parents a disservice if you stick you head in the sand on this one. So here are five questions you'll want to talk to your folks about.

1. Do you have a Will and Powers of Attorney for both money and personal care? This isn't about what's in the Will, it's about making sure there's one in place. And if your folks haven't given any thought to how they'll pass on their assets in the most tax-friendly way, it's time to seek help from an estates expert. As for the PoA… this is a vital document as parents get older. If they become incapable of managing their own money or of making decisions about their health care, someone needs to be able to step in and do what is best for them.

2. Where are all your financial documents? That's the Will, the PoAs, the insurance policies, the bank account statements, the safe deposit box, the investment statements. It's EVERYTHING. Suggest that you parents make a list of all the important account numbers and where they are located. If they are concerned about privacy, they can put it in a sealed envelope and leave it with their lawyer or in their safe deposit box, providing someone knows where the document is being kept.

3. Have you made funeral arrangements? We all have different wishes for how we'll be disposed of. Me, I just want to be baked and mixed in with the flowers. Alex knows. It's not just in my Will because I may have to be planted before she ever gets to the Will. So she knows. You should too.

4. Have you got any long-term care insurance? No matter how much you love your folks, having them move in because they need constant care can be a tough road to walk. Take it from me. I've been there. If your parents don't have any LTC insurance, do they have enough money in their pot to pay for help when they need it?

5. Do you need help with your money now? This may be as much an observation thing as a question. If bills are lying around unpaid, you have your answer. If your parent(s) keep buying stuff they don't need, that can be a sign too. You can ask the question, but very often parents who need help will deny there's a problem. So you may have to do some Sherlocking to see if there are problems.

Talking to your folks about money may be tough. And it may not work the first time you try. But you should persist. Not knowing is worse than the push back you may get. If parents adamantly refuse to share, well, you've done your best.

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