An excerpt from ongoing work

May 28

Happy Memorial Day in the US-we are the land of the free because of the Brave.

This one is different for me. For one thing it’s an excerpt. Second this is all I have of this novel—chapter one—I am slowly working on it. Third and more important this is darker and grittier than most of my writing.

A few words about the tale. I hope the first chapter here is self explanatory enough to get the gist of who she is. But I want to add that I will be adding something once I figure out for sure what I want. She discoveries something that makes her postpone her quest for vengeance, Something big is coming down and needs to be stopped. Not sure of exactly what though. But right now I think he will say something in his babbling about a box he found on a body that had been dressed in tight, black clothes. Probably there will be other bodies there too. Anyway, after this scent she thinks about what he says about the box so she goes back, sneaks in and takes it. Inside is something that reveals what is coming down. Somewhere along the way she gathers two or three companions who all join with her to stop whatever it is. One will be a person who knows what she finds in the box and can translate the language it is written in.

At the end of the adventure, after everything is stopped and/or fixed another of her companions has a special ability and shows her that she had been mistaken all of these years of exactly what happened that night which changes her quest for vengeance, which is the title of the sequel if I write it.

I gussied up the chapter by revising much of it, As usual lately I tried to draw the reader in deeper: don’t know how well I succeed or not. However I am sure it still could use some work. I am still not sure where I want her description of herself.

I am not really looking for a full review or crit even though I would not mind a couple of words on it.

One more thing. Lately books have made ghouls to be very tough, strong, mean beings who eat people alive. I have even done that in my latest Indie book-out soon. But in this case they eat the dead and garbage pretty much, they usually keep to themselves and leave the living alone. I said usually there are of course exceptions.


So enjoy:


I ran through Detroit’s cold and abandoned streets. They seemed sad and even shivered. No one lived in this part of the city anymore besides a few people: human and otherwise. I’m tall so my legs reached further than most people, that helped me to run faster. That meant I always caught who I chased.
The bastard I chased was one of the humans. He knew something I needed to know. We saw no one. Not only because it was Sunday early morning: the sun rose as we raced, the air started to warm, but this was one of the abandoned areas. Many of these buildings had started out beautiful, but economic downturns caused many of the buildings to be totally deserted.
My expensive running shoes had been worth the price even though I don’t like dull red. My short ragged hair may look red in some lights but it’s brown. My dark brown tights and athletic shirt had blood red stripes, down them but that color showed who I am.
I heard my feet slap the pavement and birds called-even here city fowls lived. I also heard his footsteps and-a slithering. That last could be caused by the dark souled people who hid out here, or a Castoff-I couldn’t help myself I let out a low growl at the picture that formed in my mind. A stench filled the air: decay, old garbage, human, animal and other pee and worse stuff. Shadowed and dark store fronts raced by me, a few with sun light on them, even parking garage entrances looked gone to seed, black and ugly. Dust and litter blew across the street. No food though here, even old, moldy leftovers would have been eaten by both animal, humans and Castoffs in this part of Detroit. I smelled some in overfilled trash bins though.
The rotten food odors made my mind shift to what I might have for lunch three days from now. Out of habit it did that at strange and sometimes inappropriate times, I think it started the night my family was killed. Caviar with garlic crackers would hit the spot as my mom said at one time—when she was still alive. That thought brought me back to where I was headed.
This guy knew where he was going, I thought it was away from any Castoff nests, which was okay with me. I needed him, not a fight even to kill one of those. If I saw one, I might not be able to help myself. This guy might know that: I have been here for a year and a half or maybe nine months. My mind doesn’t always keep track of time like it is supposed to if I was normal.
I can trace all of my mental disfunction to the night I saw my mother, brother and sisters raped then eaten by one type of Castoff-which is mine and a few others name for the mythical creatures that are real. The world is full of them. Many are the usual ones you hear of: mermaids, boogymen, vampires, werewolves, jackals. Even though I have never seem any I hear there are elves and dwarves, and the like also. But there are many with no fairy tale or story names connected to them. I am looking for one of group: a nest, a family group, a school of human shaped piranhas, a murder would be appropriate. At that time we lived in a woods near a small town were few predators human or otherwise lived—or so we thought.
One night while we were relaxing this group came by. Somehow my mom knew they were coming. I don’t if she saw them or had a premonition, but she tried to hide us to protect us. Somehow they broke in and searched the house. It was as if they knew we would all be at home. I saw fur dark figures from my hiding place but there could have been more. They found everyone but me. From where I hid in the attic stair well I watched them. I think there were five even though I couldn’t be sure in half light and half dark. Once they caught each of my siblings they drug them out and tore off their clothes. My mouth fell open I couldn’t believe it when they started the raping. My brother fought them, punched and kicked two hard but it wasn’t enough. My mom tried to claw the eyes of one-the largest and oldest looking-she managed to dig furrows into his ugly face but missed his eyes. She got her fingers bitten off for that.
Tears ran down my face and into my mouth, down off my chin, though most of it: I had to close my eyes with my hands held in front of my eyes at times. The stairs had a dogleg in the middle and one end was always in shadow. Even then darkness was my friend. Somehow I could see the living room but they couldn’t see me.
The stair was hard but it didn’t matter. My head was and I almost jumped out on top of one who attacked my youngest sister but I knew I couldn’t fight them. My mom even looked at me once and gave her head a quick shake. She knew at least one child would survive and that she had succeeded in protecting one. They all screamed for a long time. I saw my brother try and fight, he somehow kicked one across the living room, but he died in the end. When the Castoffs were done only blood remained. The stink of blood grew as did something else I didn’t know-it came in with the Castoffs. It grew dark at times, like when my mom clawed at the head monster’s eyes, I think blood drained from my head from the shock. My mind shifted from the contradictory emotions and thoughts; it couldn’t take what I watched and the knowledge I couldn’t do anything to stop it.
At least four times I wished myself somewhere else as hard as I could. I couldn’t even let out a sob, for they would hear that. Once I pressed my hands so hard against my eyes that I saw spots for a minute later. When I could move, I stumbled down the stairs. My legs cramped and I had bruises where my knees and one shin had pressed against the wood. My lower lip bled and my eyes were sore. I wandered if I would go blind, but I wished I would but the sights were deep in my mind so it wouldn’t do any good. I scrambled over the blood spots to try to feel something that was once them. I didn’t know how but I would beat those creatures and eat them. I ran to the kitchen, grabbed the butcher knife and ran outside. I thought I saw a trail they left and I ran after them. But it was too dark, I tripped and fell four times, hit my head once hard enough to see stars. A person I barely knew from the town found my face down on the dirt and roots the next morning, I had to spit the grass and dirt when he lifted me. They never did find my family, I couldn’t tell them through my sobs and when I could no one believed me. One man who had two grown sons listened-he seemed very curious and worried. I thought it looked like he knew what happened, but he never said anything. His face had been in dark and I only saw his eyes but I knew he listened with a different concern.
Sometimes I will live through that night again even in the middle of something else, like now as I chased a dirty Ghoul helper. I came to my senses again a lot closer to him and blocks away from where I last knew where I was. Part of my mind still keeps going forward even as the rest of it stumbles backward in time.
He dodged into an old deserted warehouse. No, when I saw the sign, I knew it had been a theater. One of those where live shows and plays are put on. Was this his home? Or did he know someone who could protect him in here. They wouldn’t be able to of course no matter if they were human or otherwise.
I did what he would think I wouldn’t do. I used a bit of shadow to slip in-between the doubles doors as they swung back and forth. I saw him look behind him but it was so dark that he wouldn’t notice an extra shadow. He panted loudly and sobbed once or twice as I made my slow way down the aisle. He knew who I was and why I chased him.
Blood formed in my mouth, at first I thought it one of my dreams where I fall into a pool of my mother’s blood and almost drawn in it. But I realized I had bitten the inside of my cheek to keep from calling out my rage and revenge. I have been told I have a unique scream when I let it out. People like this bastard fear it. It comes from deep within me and I have little control when it does but sometimes I can contain it.
He stopped near the stage, he turned and slowly backed into it. He watched the front doors with fearful expression. He knew I was coming through them any moment. Maybe he thought he could hide in the dark areas of the theater. Maybe he had a weapon hidden here. What he didn’t know though was that I moved through the same aisle that he had gone down. Not even a dark corner or holding his breath would hide him from me. I have found those who thought they were safe.
The last man to try that was a child rapist. He didn’t I could sense him even in darkness so deep nothing could be seen. His smell was so bad it probably caused his victims to gag and even though he hid in a store front full of rotten food, I went straight to him. His screams lasted for an hour. I told him how much he sounded like one of the little girls he had raped and he was a child.
Now though this guy was even worse for he worked with Ghouls. When I moved five feet from him he startled. He knew something was near, but he looked straight at me and didn’t see. He looked above him, stared at one side but no one was there.
He let out a short scream and by the smell pissed himself when my hand reached out of nowhere and grabbed his throat. I let the shadow drop and looked into his terrified eyes. He gasped and shook. I see that last a lot with people like him. The warmth of his body cascaded against my skin even though the skin on his neck made my hand chill.
“What-what? What do you want?”
I think he knew but he had to say something.
“I want your blood, I want to drink it as the last of it drains from your body.”
Actually, I don’t drink blood, from any source. I don’t want it near my taste buds, but he didn’t know that. I have a rep and I live up to it. By the way I speak, if not deeds.
I did however show him my knife. The one I like to use on people. Serrated edge, long curved blade. It sat in my hand, that was empty a moment ago. I didn’t use magic for that though just sleight of hand.
His eyes darken and fluttered. I think he fainted for a heartbeat or two.
“But-but-why? I have never seen you, never harmed you.”
“True, but you deal with the garbage eaters. I hate them, that is enough of a reason!”
My voice had risen and was almost hysterical at the end but it always did that so I let it.
“But I need to. They take care of the dead animals around here. The city doesn’t do anything with dogs, cats, birds, rats that have died so they just rot here.”
“Is that all!”
“No, no—they dispose of the bodies of other…”
Words failed him so I added four.
“For humans you killed?”
“Noo—I don’t kill, I swear. Maybe if a mythos attacks me but—but I just defend myself. I swear. There are those here who fight each other, but I stay away from them. If I find a body I send word to the-them so it doesn’t rot and stink and people who don’t know sees one, but that is all. I swear. I try to ignore them and just live here, I just work in the city but no one wants me there so I come here. I keep my place clean-I swear that is all.”
He was doing a lot of swearing but I was staring in his eyes as he talked. Fear lived there. I like that in some humans and non-humans. His skin warmed. Silence ruled elsewhere in the theater.
I let out a long breath into his face. I’m sure he felt the warmth of it, but didn’t flinch. Too many other things on his mind I guessed. I saw that he told the truth. He felt like he had to deal with them so they would get rid of the stink and so they would leave him alone.
Without further conversation I moved the hand that held the knife; slipped in down and jabbed him in the stomach. He flinched back, a look of surprise and disappointment crossed his face, he let out a yell of pain and fear. I let go of him and stepped back.
He staggered stared at me confused, looked down at his belly. I knew he wanted to collapse. More piss but that was all. I gathered the shadow again and transported my self to the door. I stopped, looked back at him for a moment.
His hand came away from where I had hit him. No blood. He looked confused I knew he had felt pain, but besides a sore belly and a bruise he would be okay. As my hand moved downward I had placed the knife back where I keep it and I flattened my hand out as I stabbed at him. All that hit him were my long sharp fingernails. My nails broke only the top layer of skin even through his clothes. It had felt like I stabbed him but no real damage done. It and the way I appeared and vanished was a warning though, one he wouldn’t forget. I was gone before he noticed that I had stopped to watch for a moment.
I had to decide to do something about the garbage eaters here or to keep on looking for that one tribe. I had killed a tribe who was bothering humans, but it hadn’t been the right one and it gave me little real pleasure.

end excerpt.