Regretful WIMP and the the dark wars

Just as it was becoming boring to swift through the data generated by the massive gun at CERN, looking for particles of all color, shape and hue, scientists at Chicago seem to have confirmed the existence of the ever elusive WIMP, in a deep corner in Minnesota. The WIMP, after all, is famous as it single-handedly advance the proposed dark theories – band-aids to fix observations that do not agree with the status-quo framework. The recent discovery that yet another dark cousin – dark flow – is needed to sufficiently explain the "tilt" of the universe, has only added to the prestige of such theories.

Not to be left behind, competitors have forcefully rejected such nonsense, based on the basic idea that any WIMP, not caught in their "net," cannot be a WIMP, at all. That is logic enough – after all physicists are mere humans – and catching a WIMP gives them immense pride and letting somebody catch it when they have been waiting for it, cannot be tolerated. It appears to be outright dark war – a race to prove or disprove the catching of the WIMP. Much energy is and will be spent on this and it will inspire the younger physicists to take on the sword and march proudly into the battlefields of experimentalism and shouting matches. In the process, not too many will ask the need for the WIMP to exist or what happens if yet another WIMP like entity shows up in somebody else's net.

The sluggish WIMP may already be regretting the path it has taken to Minnesota.