Uncovering the Hidden Contexts of My Life: Telling My S from the Hole in the Ground
When I was returning from the Landmark Branding Event last month, I boarded a reserved compartment in the train during the 'peak season' of the summer vacation. And I had no reservation. I knew I had to pay the fine etc. I talked to the Ticket Conductor. There were two other people like me and the TC told me that it would cost Rs. 350. I agreed. Out of the two other people, one looked confident about the whole business. He had done this sort of thing before. In fact, I had done the same thing in the morning. However, being the bird of the feather, I stuck together with two of these people. We had to move from compartment to compartment before, the TC could allot a final place to us. The more experienced chap said that we would buy two tickets and the three of us would managed. Unthinkingly, I agreed. Late evening, when the things settled and I got a place, an upper berth, I somehow had to adjust a stranger and it became very very uncomfortable indeed. This might be apparently just a trivial episode in my life, but it is the story of my life: lack of confidence and unthinking commitments and plenty of situations like this. I used to rely on my father for his advice, reassurance and support in almost all important decisions in my life. And I even used to resent him for being so caring and supportive so as to make me dependent! So what was at the source of my lack of confidence and resentment? Well, towards the end of the Self Expression and Leadership Program of the Landmark Education, I could 'distinguish' the source. The context, in fact, the hidden context of my life.
The Landmark Education is all about distinguishing and uncovering the hidden contexts of our life which keep us in dis-empowered and transforming them. In the Landmark Technology, 'Context' has nothing to do with the theories or notions of contexts. The context is what determines what and how things show up in our life, but the 'context' itself never shows up. It is like the white background, in front of which a black or blue object shows up, but a white object remains invisible. It is like yellow light in the room where a blue colored object shows up as green. The power of context can be illustrated by an anecdote. A man sees two workers breaking stone on the street. One of them looks joyous and elated and the other looks upset and tired. The man asks the person who looks fatigued and angry what he was doing, the worker replied that he was breaking the stones since morning and he hated his job. The man asks the other person why did he look joyous though he was doing the same work. The happy man replied that he was building a university where his grandchildren and their grandchildren might study and have a better life. Two people doing the same work were working with different contexts and hence their work showed up -occurred- in entirely different ways to them. My mother used to constantly tell me to take non-conventional medicines: haldi, kaadha and Ayurvedic syrups of all sorts, and this used to infuriate me. I hated those medicines and thought that my mother was pestering me and harassing me all the time with this non-sense. Later, thanks to the Forum, I realized that it was her love and concern and this was the way she expressed it. It would seem obvious for lots of other people, but for me the context was hidden, and hence I saw it as irritant.
So what was the hidden context of my lack of self confidence? I was lead to this context during a powerful inquiry into our lives in the Self Expression and Leadership Program using the distinction -"Who are you being such that others show up the way they are.." I was inquiring into certain issues I was dealing with in my family. My parents did not directly complain to me about what they did not like about me. Instead they kept on telling it to Ashwini and she used to bring it to me. Our coach Nandak Pandya asked me, 'Who are you being such that your parents or the wife cant deal with the things on their own and have to bring those things to you, directly and indirectly? What will you call people who cant deal with their problems on their own? '. The people who cant deal with the issues and problems on their own are obviously weak. So who was I being such that others in my life showed up as 'weak'? I asked myself was I being dominating? Was I being evasive? Was I scared to address these issues directly out of the fear of quarrels in the home? What will you call a person who is dominating, evasive and scared of confronting issues? Well, here was the hidden context of my life: I showed up in my life - I occurred to myself as WEAK. The whole life was then the game of hiding the fact ( it was a fact for me) that I was weak. My whole life, my diseases, my crushes, my habits, all the ways of being showed up in the context- I was weak.
In the Advanced Course, Praveen Puri demonstrated to us what the context is. He put up his two fingers and asked us what it was. We said 'two', 'sign of victory' or 'two fingers'. Then he asked us 'where' was 'two', 'sign of victory' or 'two fingers' were. We said they were their on his hand and where else. He said that we couldnt tell our S from the hole in the ground. He took a tennis ball and tossed it up and caught it. He asked us 'Where was the ball falling?', we said that it was falling in his hands. Again we were told that we could not tell our S from the Hole in the Ground. He said 'two', 'the sign of victory', or'two fingers' were words and they existed in language- not any language in our conversation. If no words like these existed the things would not exist for us the way they were doing now. A dog doesn't have the words' electricity pole' and so it uses it for a different purpose then we do. So these words become the context of what we see- our language-the language we use- is the hidden context of our life. My act- 'Stay Away from People' , my chief rackets- they don't care about me vs. I am no good' all these were basically conversations, meanings, stories which were the contexts of my life. They ran my life. These were the sources of my dis-empowerment, So I give up this conversation,'I am weak' and whole new relationship with myself begins. I see myself as powerful and effective. I see myself as someone who can make difference to the lives of people in my life. One of the intentions of the Advanced Course is to change our relation with ourselves so that all our relations, with people and with reality changes. This is what is meant by transformation.
I talked to my parents straight and asked them if they were afraid of me or found me dominating or evasive. They said that from now onwards, we will tell you straight.I also declared that I was taking up a project for bringing oneness and happiness in the family. They were quite happy with the idea.
A weak man clings to others when he feels insecure as during the boarding a reserved train compartment without reservation. A weak man 'adjusts' in spite of difficulties ( 'being adjusting' is one of my 'strong suits').A weak man worries about people finding out that he does not have stamina or health that other people. A weak man drives over cautiously and is worried about driving a four wheeler on an express highway. A weak man is scared of fights in the family and evades the issues. A weak man is afraid of being straight. A weak man feels he lacks stamina or strength. A weak man keeps people around him weak. So when I dropped this conversation and continuously distinguish and drop it every time it crops up, new possibilities of being and new possibilities of action call forth powerfully into action. I can drive my two wheeler more effectively, I can be someone who cant be messed with, I can be someone makes his money work for him. I can be someone who can be in charge of the affairs. I can be someone who is a possibility of empowerment. Now I am confidence. I am empowerment.
P.S. I asked myself- how does my body occur to me? I said 'burdensome', ' source of suffering', ' and ' unattractive'. I dropped the conversation ( you need the Landmark training to do that) and my body occurs to me light, a source of joy and attractive........the game of transformation is so thrilling and hellua fun!
The Landmark Education is all about distinguishing and uncovering the hidden contexts of our life which keep us in dis-empowered and transforming them. In the Landmark Technology, 'Context' has nothing to do with the theories or notions of contexts. The context is what determines what and how things show up in our life, but the 'context' itself never shows up. It is like the white background, in front of which a black or blue object shows up, but a white object remains invisible. It is like yellow light in the room where a blue colored object shows up as green. The power of context can be illustrated by an anecdote. A man sees two workers breaking stone on the street. One of them looks joyous and elated and the other looks upset and tired. The man asks the person who looks fatigued and angry what he was doing, the worker replied that he was breaking the stones since morning and he hated his job. The man asks the other person why did he look joyous though he was doing the same work. The happy man replied that he was building a university where his grandchildren and their grandchildren might study and have a better life. Two people doing the same work were working with different contexts and hence their work showed up -occurred- in entirely different ways to them. My mother used to constantly tell me to take non-conventional medicines: haldi, kaadha and Ayurvedic syrups of all sorts, and this used to infuriate me. I hated those medicines and thought that my mother was pestering me and harassing me all the time with this non-sense. Later, thanks to the Forum, I realized that it was her love and concern and this was the way she expressed it. It would seem obvious for lots of other people, but for me the context was hidden, and hence I saw it as irritant.
So what was the hidden context of my lack of self confidence? I was lead to this context during a powerful inquiry into our lives in the Self Expression and Leadership Program using the distinction -"Who are you being such that others show up the way they are.." I was inquiring into certain issues I was dealing with in my family. My parents did not directly complain to me about what they did not like about me. Instead they kept on telling it to Ashwini and she used to bring it to me. Our coach Nandak Pandya asked me, 'Who are you being such that your parents or the wife cant deal with the things on their own and have to bring those things to you, directly and indirectly? What will you call people who cant deal with their problems on their own? '. The people who cant deal with the issues and problems on their own are obviously weak. So who was I being such that others in my life showed up as 'weak'? I asked myself was I being dominating? Was I being evasive? Was I scared to address these issues directly out of the fear of quarrels in the home? What will you call a person who is dominating, evasive and scared of confronting issues? Well, here was the hidden context of my life: I showed up in my life - I occurred to myself as WEAK. The whole life was then the game of hiding the fact ( it was a fact for me) that I was weak. My whole life, my diseases, my crushes, my habits, all the ways of being showed up in the context- I was weak.
In the Advanced Course, Praveen Puri demonstrated to us what the context is. He put up his two fingers and asked us what it was. We said 'two', 'sign of victory' or 'two fingers'. Then he asked us 'where' was 'two', 'sign of victory' or 'two fingers' were. We said they were their on his hand and where else. He said that we couldnt tell our S from the hole in the ground. He took a tennis ball and tossed it up and caught it. He asked us 'Where was the ball falling?', we said that it was falling in his hands. Again we were told that we could not tell our S from the Hole in the Ground. He said 'two', 'the sign of victory', or'two fingers' were words and they existed in language- not any language in our conversation. If no words like these existed the things would not exist for us the way they were doing now. A dog doesn't have the words' electricity pole' and so it uses it for a different purpose then we do. So these words become the context of what we see- our language-the language we use- is the hidden context of our life. My act- 'Stay Away from People' , my chief rackets- they don't care about me vs. I am no good' all these were basically conversations, meanings, stories which were the contexts of my life. They ran my life. These were the sources of my dis-empowerment, So I give up this conversation,'I am weak' and whole new relationship with myself begins. I see myself as powerful and effective. I see myself as someone who can make difference to the lives of people in my life. One of the intentions of the Advanced Course is to change our relation with ourselves so that all our relations, with people and with reality changes. This is what is meant by transformation.
I talked to my parents straight and asked them if they were afraid of me or found me dominating or evasive. They said that from now onwards, we will tell you straight.I also declared that I was taking up a project for bringing oneness and happiness in the family. They were quite happy with the idea.
A weak man clings to others when he feels insecure as during the boarding a reserved train compartment without reservation. A weak man 'adjusts' in spite of difficulties ( 'being adjusting' is one of my 'strong suits').A weak man worries about people finding out that he does not have stamina or health that other people. A weak man drives over cautiously and is worried about driving a four wheeler on an express highway. A weak man is scared of fights in the family and evades the issues. A weak man is afraid of being straight. A weak man feels he lacks stamina or strength. A weak man keeps people around him weak. So when I dropped this conversation and continuously distinguish and drop it every time it crops up, new possibilities of being and new possibilities of action call forth powerfully into action. I can drive my two wheeler more effectively, I can be someone who cant be messed with, I can be someone makes his money work for him. I can be someone who can be in charge of the affairs. I can be someone who is a possibility of empowerment. Now I am confidence. I am empowerment.
P.S. I asked myself- how does my body occur to me? I said 'burdensome', ' source of suffering', ' and ' unattractive'. I dropped the conversation ( you need the Landmark training to do that) and my body occurs to me light, a source of joy and attractive........the game of transformation is so thrilling and hellua fun!
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