Return of the Rock Burglar

Finally, after 17 years the "Rock Burglar" has been caught and arrested Friday May 27, 2011, according to the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office. Suspect, Robert James Neese, allegedly has been involved in nearly 400 burglaries around Carefree, Paradise Valley, Fountain Hills, Cave Creek, and Scottsdale, stealing more than an estimated $10 million in cash and jewelry.

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Alleged Rock Burglar, Robert Neese

Two years ago April was one of the victims of the "Rock Burglar:"

The phone rings again. I check caller ID. April.

"Hey kid, what's up?" I ask, clearing the table.

"We were robbed!" April's voice shrieks.

"What?" I stop in my tracks. April never screams, rushes or panics. She is the epitome of sophisticated relaxation. Kinda like an airbrushed magazine ad but alive.

"All my jewelry is gone. I can't believe it! They took my eleven carat yellow diamond Steve bought me for my birthday, my three tennis bracelets and the heirloom ruby—" She starts to sob.

"Wait a minute. Calm down. Have you called the police?"

"Yes, they're here now. It happened earlier. I left a message at Steve's office , but he's in the middle of a big trial."

"Can't they interrupt him? It's a family emergency."

"They said they'd try, but it's the Napoli case that's been in the headlines."

My brain begins to scramble. Is Napoli the woman dubbed the "Botox Bandit" who scammed all the spas by booking expensive treatments and paying with stolen credit cards or the socialite who left her sleeping baby with the Neiman Marcus valet and took her rat-dog inside to buy eye cream? Why are they suing? Never mind.

"Please. Could you come over to help me? I need you. I'm so upset." She sniffs, blowing her nose.

"Okay, stay calm, sweetheart. I'll be right there."

-Chapter 6, Stressed in Scottsdale

Like déjà vu the phone rang and it was April.

"Jean!! They caught him!"

"Who? Arnold? He never went anyplace. He's a lazy, cheap adulterer picking someone in his own home so he didn't have to rent a hotel room."

"No," says April with a touch of hysteria in her voice. "The Rock Burglar!"

Now I remember I saw the news story last night accompanied by a prep picture of a guy who looks like Nick Nolte's cousin.

"Calm down. He still gets a trial," I tell my most glamorous friend.

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"Maybe I'll get my jewelry back. That yellow diamond was a very sentimental piece to me. Steve gave it to me when I made him–"

"April, I don't want to hear it. Whatever you did to him, do it again and he'll probably buy you another one."

"Not in this economy," I hear her grumble.

At any rate, the man who engineered ten million dollars in valuables from society's participants is no longer living it up on the Lefkowitz's dollar!

If you would like to read more about the Rock Burglar, you can purchase Stressed in Scottsdale on MarciaFine.com

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