Summer of Discovery: Discovering Myself

This week's guest blogger is a truly wonderful online buddy, whom I discovered via the now less active Fangs, Fur & Fey livejournal community. Karen Mahoney writes lovely YA urban fantasy and (I think) is poised for a fabulous career. She s the author of The Iron Witch, the first book in a trilogy that continues in 2012 with The Wood Queen. She has also published stories about a kick-ass teen vampire called Moth in The Eternal Kiss and Kiss Me Deadly. Karen is British and currently lives near London with way too many books, though she dreams of one day living in Boston. She doesn't mind if you call her Kaz.

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When I agreed to write something for Maria's 'Summer of Discovery,' I thought it would be easy because I'm always discovering new (to me) authors and TV shows which I figured I could babble on about. (For example, my latest discovery is JUSTIFIED with the brilliant Timothy Olyphant.)

But then… it came time to write my post and I didn't want to write about that kind of thing. I'm in the middle of a period of self-discovery with my writing—and my life—so I decided I would share something about that here. If you're bored, just skip to the end for the giveaway.

A lot of people think I'm younger than I am, but I'm 37 and have been dreaming of being an author for 25 years. My debut novel, THE IRON WITCH, came out in February of this year, so what the hell took me so long? Of course, the many (many) hoops and hurdles of the publishing industry are part of the answer to that question, as well as my own writing ability and level of craft (i.e. it takes time to build those skills). But, quite honestly, I think that the thing holding me back the most was my lack of self-belief—a fundamental, heartfelt belief that I wasn't, and never would be, good enough to get my writing published.

Discovering that has been painful, because I have wasted a lot of time simply not writing; there was a 5-year period of nothing but journaling and writing ABOUT writing in my late twenties and early thirties… I was frozen with a deep terror that I could never achieve my dream, so what was the point in even trying? I wonder what I could have done with that time had I been more focused on actually putting words (fiction, I mean) on the page? And yet, this discovery is also sort of freeing. There is something powerful in admitting that we are afraid to face our most precious hopes and dreams—afraid that we won't measure up, or that they won't come true. By facing up to those fears, we also let them go and leave space in our lives for new things; new experiences and, yes, new discoveries.

Back in 2007 I discovered that I loved to write stories inspired by mythology and folklore, which is where THE IRON WITCH trilogy initially came from. If it weren't for my discovery of a folktale called 'The Handless Maiden' there would have been no Donna Underwood and no debut novel. I think what I am trying to say is that writing—as with life—is just one discovery after another. Some of the things we discover are small, but many are big and potentially life-changing. Staying open to those possibilities is a massive challenge, but a very important one.

Right now, I'm discovering that there's more to me than being a writer of young adult contemporary fantasy (much as I love doing that!)—I am working on something for an adult audience which is much more romantic and has all kinds of action and adventure in it. I'm having a lot of fun, whether it's something that ultimately sells or not, and that feeling of 'letting go' of any final outcome is yet another discovery. Just taking it day by day and enjoying the process.

In the spirit of giving something new a try, and to thank you for listening to me ramble, maybe you'd like to discover a world of alchemy, dark elves, and a girl with magical iron tattoos… If so, leave me a comment telling me what YOU have discovered lately, and I'll send one randomly chosen winner a signed copy of THE IRON WITCH. (Book 2, The Wood Queen, will be out in early February 2012.)

Cheers!

Karen Mahoney

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Thanks, Karen!! Doubting oneself is the bane of many of us authors–most definitely.

Readers, leave your comment before next week's guest author post and you'll be entered to win!