Five of the Greatest Challenges in Marriage

Some important marital concepts are examined here. All of these concepts have a scriptural basis in the New Testament, even though many couples never apply these concepts in their marriage. Incorporating the first few concepts into a marriage will make it easier to practice the last few concepts. Even though these concepts may be challenging, they are the building blocks for a successful marriage. A married couple will truly be blessed if they apply these concepts in their marriage.

Preferring One Another

Both the husband and wife are highly valued in a successful marriage. A good way to express this value is to prefer one another. Selfishness cannot persist in a relationship in which both the husband and wife prefer one another. "Give preference to one another in honor" (Romans 12:10b NAS). For more practical understanding of this concept, the Message translation reads, "practice playing second fiddle".

Submitting to One Another

Either spouse can submit by accepting the will of the other. It is extraordinary for both the husband and wife to submit to each other. However, the word of God calls for submitting one to another. Such a level of mutual commitment is beyond just preferring one another. Most people have a very limited view of submission, but the word of God gives clear instructions on submitting one to another. "Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ" (Ephesians 5:21 NAS). Putting one's self in the other person's place helps to see that person's perspective and makes it easier to submit one to another.

Agreement

Agreement in a marriage comes from both partners having the same opinion. Agreement is often reached by one person forming an opinion and then the other person accepting it. When a married couple comes into agreement, they are able to call on heaven for help. "If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by my Father who is in heaven" (Matthew 18:19b NAS). Amos 3:3 raises an important issue: How can two walk together if they are not in agreement? Without agreement, a marriage is doomed.

Unity (Natural)

Unity means harmony and accord. It is possible for a married couple to be united in the natural. This unity is similar to the unity of a winning team in sports. In unity the individual components, the husband and wife in this case, come together to form a whole that is greater than the sum total of the individual parts. In unity there is a singleness of purpose. "Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose" (Philippians 2:2 NLT). Natural unity lacks a spiritual perspective, which is included in the next concept.

Oneness

The concept of oneness described here is a form of natural and spiritual unity. The husband and wife are to become one, both physically and spiritually. Only through intimacy inside and outside the bedroom can a married couple live together as one in the flesh and in the spirit. "Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one" (1 Corinthians 6:16b MSG). "Put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity" (Colossians 3:14b NAS). In the high priestly prayer, Jesus prayed that his disciples would become one (John 17:20-23). The marriage relationship is perfected in oneness. Oneness can be attained by faith and through the work of the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4: 1-13). Oneness in a marriage brings peace. The married couple will have peace in their home and in their family. They will be able to impart peace into the lives of others. The world will take note of marriages in which the husband and wife operate in oneness, because God's blessings will be on these marriages.

Conclusions

The word of God identifies high standards for holy marriage. These high standards have been identified and briefly discussed in this post. If these standards appear to be especially challenging, remember that believers can do all things through Christ (Philippians 4:13). Even when other marriages are falling apart, any married couple applying these standards will stand out above the rest. The blessings of God will overtake that couple.