Give Me Your Worst and Win a Book!

I have a missing guest again, so I'm pinch-hitting today, and it's short and sweet. I'm on the hunt for a spectacular insult. Funny, playful, not too cruel. And the real challenge? It can't be more than 129 characters long.
What's this for, you ask? Well, I'm coming up on my 8,000th tweet on Twitter. I've started a little tradition of using every thousandth tweet to insult my dear friend and writing buddy Kari Gregg. After seven 129-character insults, I'm running out of ideas. I need help...