Robert Farley...

...makes a deeply moving plea for America to let a Jolly American be a candidate for President.

I say more. I say America had *better* elect a Jolly American because failure to do so will only prove your obesophobia and demonstrate the need for an immediate emergency enabling act to deal with the present crisis. Once that crisis is past and all people everywhere have proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are not bigoted against Jollies, then we will be able to return your liberties to you.

But not a moment before. Tolerance is not enough! You. MUST. approve!