Randomnessness…ness.

Just a multi-faceted update this time, so you know I didn't fall off the planet somehow. Editing work for the glass site is still pretty much the same. Yesterday wasn't fun, though, as it was a news day so slow, I literally had to search all day to come up with five new articles. Every other news source of our kind resorted to recycling news from last week. I made sure our peeps got new stuff. Cause that's how I roll.

Hope y'all remember that my duel sci-fi novella, The Life & Death of a Sex Doll, is coming very soon. If you haven't pre-ordered a print copy or an ebook from Belfire Press yet, please, consider picking one up now or on release day. (Should be any day now, I think.) For $11.99 for print or $2.99 for ebooks, it's a really good deal. You're getting Adopting a Sex Doll, my original web serial about an Internet stock broker who modifies a sophisticated sex toy to play house, and the all-new sequel, When a Sex Doll Dies, which continues the story from the perspective of the aforementioned adopted doll. Sometimes whimsical and funny, and sometimes a little sad and nostalgic, this is going to be my first book published by someone else. The editing is even more stringent than my already tough standards, so without boasting, I can tell you that this will be my best book ever in terms of editing quality.

In other writing news, I've completed another chapter of Bran of Greenwood and the Scary Fairy Princess. I don't write every day, or even all day on the days that I choose to indulge the muse, so my progress is much slower. I'm also committing the wicked sin of adding to the earlier scenes before I finish the book. *GASP!* Actually, I've done this many times over the last two years. I think that rule really only applies to noobs and people who let the new additions distract them from finishing the story.

But I am certain I will finish this book. It's only a matter of time before I can put the rough draft to bed. I'm thinking this is a novella of around 38K-45K. I've got most of the "inside jokes" (That's in quotes cause not all the jokes are funny if you don't understand the context…and some probably aren't funny even if you do) already locked in, and the current chapter featuring Bran's older half-brother Orrin lets me foreshadow a bit for Bran's immediate future.

The book has pretty much maintained its focus on sex and food, with occasional excursions into world building and character development. Allegedly, off camera, Bran and Lana are deadly killers who are becoming legends over the course of the book. In fact, in the pub they're dining at right now (focus on food, you see), everyone knows them as heroes (even though they're thieves) and the local minstrel hosts an impromptu lute concert performing songs about their many brave deeds.

No, don't worry, I didn't describe the songs…or the minstrel, or the pub, or anything or anyone except the food. And Lana. Because Lana is awesome and super-special. (Actually, Lana is a crossing of Katniss Everdeen and Drizzt Do'Urden. The big clue to her being a trannsexual, alternate universe version of Drizzt is when Bran mentions Lana "dancing with her daggers." Oh yeah, she's a proud Mary Sue.)

You people don't need to say it, even if you know it's true, cause I can say it in a mirror and even feel kinda sorta guilty about it. But man, sometimes I can be a serious bitch when something irritates me.

One of the lines in Bran's book is a dig at another Hunger Games scene where Katniss fires an arrow after a somersault. It's a total Mary Sue move and was almost a "throw the book moment" for me. In Bran's book, Bran comments on Lana's skill as an archer and says she might be able to shoot an apple out of a man's hand after turning a somersault. Lana says that only a self-centered idiot would attempt such a childish maneuver. And, ha! Take that, Katpiss Everdense.

Now I just have to figure out how to set Lana on fire. Oh, but not real fire. Mary Sue, non-burning fire, so she'll look really real-ultra-special. Like a sexual fire dessert, a flaming half-elf baked Alaska.

Yep, I B a total bitch. And just think…I LOVED Twilight. So it ain't like I've got great standards in literature, yo.

(BTW, yes I DID write a parody of Twilight. So I'm sure it looks like I was taking the piss out of the series, when in fact I was only taking the piss out of Rosalie. X^D But, I also laced Peter's books with themes and ideas taken from the series. So yes, if you didn't know it already, I am in fact one of those dreadful Twihards.)

Ahem, moving on to music news, guitar practice is going good. This weekend I got a book of rock songs to practice, and I started off with The Police's Every Breath You Take, composed by Sting, who I have a message for because of this song. But so anywho, reading the tabs, I said, "No way am I doing that in a single hand position, so I must need to move my fingers around." (Yes, out loud. Yes, I talk to myself. I find that unless I've gone off on a rant, I'm remarkably good company.) This didn't sound right to me even after a few attempts to speed up, so I went to YouTube and looked up a lesson.

And I'll make a brief pause to say, when it comes to education, YouTube is turning into a fantastic video tutorial library as people from every field of study grab cameras and try to make simple explanations for complex topics. Want to know how to play guitar? Look up guitar lessons. Want to learn Tai Chi? You can learn Yang and Cheng styles from your choices of multiple instructors. The other day, fantasy writer Becka Sutton even helped me sort out how to find a video on making wooden arrows in the brush with limited tools. (Not because I needed arrows, but because I needed research material. I have no future plans to make arrows…yet.)

So, if you're stuck on a topic and need a good video to break it down for you, check YouTube. Chances are good, someone wants to help you with this topic, for free. Can't beat that with a stick.

But so back to the Police song I wanted to learn, the first thing the instructor says is, "This song has a good stretchy chord…" Well, "good" is a relative term. It IS good that I now have a song to practice to help me stretch my fretting hand. BUT, (and this is an enormous but) THE PAIN is so…there are no words to describe what the opening bars of this song do to my poor little hand. I'm okay on the split of my pinky on the 9th fret fourth string, my middle finger on the 7th fret fifth string, and my index finger on the 5th fret sixth string. That's painful, but not so bad that I can't hold the notes with a clean sustain. I can even handle dropping my index finger to the 6th fret third string and go back up again without losing my pace or tone, but then I have to move up the neck and do a 2-4-6 spilt on the same strings. So I reach for it, and OW! The strain is reduced somewhat when I have to dip my index finger for the 2nd fret third string, but then my pinky and middle finger lose tone. And by the second pass through the pattern, I'm like, "GAH, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS PAIN GOOD FOR BUT TEH HURTIES?! STING YOU SADISTIC BASTARD, DIE IN A FIRE!"

(Sting, I don't really want you to die in a fire. But damn, man, that stretch is a motherfucker.)

And finally, language lessons…are lagging. I try to read from my comics sometimes, but the gendered articles confuse me, and words constantly change radically depending on context…I may love the Italian people, but I'm growing to hate their language. I'd almost wish I could relearn Japanese instead. But I can imagine what a smashing success I would be if I migrated over thar. A loudmouth redneck like me in a place like that? Oh yeah, I can't see anything going wrong with that plan.

Aaaand so that the news. I'm gonna wander off to the store for foody type stuff and then come home and grab Lili for another round of Torture the Right Hand. Yay!

Peace, I'm outtie! (What does that mean? I don't know, but it makes me laugh when I say it out loud.)