Some Thoughts About SkyMall
Domestic air travel is never complete without a flip through the SkyMall catalog. Although I have never made a purchase, I have been tempted. But mostly I'm just confused.
A lot of children need caring homes so if you think your dog needs a compression sweater to quell canine anxiety, you might consider getting an actual child.
Anyone modeling a shapewear system has never needed shapewear.
Reading a 5-page abstract of a 500-page book does not make you smart; it makes you an asshole.
Cat owners, I beg you, do not potty train your pets. Pawprints on the toilet seat? Not to mention that once they learn to flush they will quickly figure out the password to your bank account. Finally, they call your attorney and change the medical directive. Slippery slope, that toilet seat.
Speaking of cats and potty, you're not fooling anyone with that clever catbox hidden in the "handsome furniture."
People who spend their days like a rotisserie chicken next to the pool are not concerned with proper spinal alignment. Ergo, no ergonomic beach lounger required.
Why are there no Mickey Mouse topiaries? Some of us would like to transform our foyers into the happiest place on Earth. Get on it, SkyMall.
$1,284 for 10 leather placemats and matching coasters? Marketed as a conference room set? Jokes on you, Corporate America!
Thank you for making the Meerkat Gang statue nearly two feet tall. Nothing worse than midget meerkats.
Laser hair comb: the male version of instant wrinkle reducer?
28-day mascara is non-toxic and does not contain coal tar! And it is approved by the Cosmetology Board. I'm in.
It's not all crap. In fact, if you love me, please send an authentic bluegrass autoharp. Or, The Wedge. I've heard those are good.
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