Ask the Bubbly: Babies Laughing at Paper

Today's question comes from a father who never had the chance to rip paper for his son.

Pity.

Or is it?

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Dear Lela,

What's up with all the laughing baby videos lately? And why didn't any of those parenting books tell me that I could get my kid to laugh just by ripping up paper? This could have saved me a lot of sleepless nights when my kids were babies. I sure wish I had known about this miracle baby-enchantment strategy then. I feel cheated.

Frustrated Father

Dear Frustrated,

Take heart, and enjoy the videos while you can. The baby-laughing-at-ripped paper phenomenon will be short-lived. The reason you never read of this supposed miracle baby charming technique is because it is not a time-tested method. Unlike tickling a baby's belly or dancing him around to vintage Britney Spears, these seemingly innocent giggling baby antics are nothing but precursors to what is referred to in the trade as meltdown. (Not to be confused with blowout, which is a marked discrepancy between human elimination and diaper capacity.)

Videos of babies laughing at ripped paper last approximately one minute. You do not see the moments preceding or those following. Note that the baby paper film genre is dominated by male directors. At some point during the day of filming, this man receives a rejection letter of some sort, a past due utility notice, or mortgage statement with an unfavorable escrow account adjustment. Just prior to making the video, his gainfully employed partner says something to the effect of,

"Get your lazy ass off the couch and do something around here."

At this point, the man chooses from among the many household chores what he believed to be the easiest task: childcare. And because he is Daddy, aka the Fun Parent, he passes the time with Junior by making him laugh. Specifically, he rips the offending rejection or bill. (My sources have no idea why this works or how it has caught on so quickly, but I suspect it has something to do with the influence otherwise unemployed daddy bloggers.)

Daddy rips; baby laughs. It works.

For about one minute.

Then Daddy bores of this tiresome routine, because let's face it, watching babies laugh isn't that satisfying, not like picking March Madness brackets or eating an entire piece of leftover pizza in two bites. So the funny man stops the show and the baby starts to cry. Translation of baby's wails: "What do you think you're doing? Get back here and rip me some paper, Fool!"

Here's where Mom steps in. No one has actually seen one of these videos. No one wants to.

Enjoy the foolishness of others, but consider yourself lucky, not cheated. At least during your sleepless nights there was a chance, no matter how slim of sex. Not so for the paper rippers.

Got questions? I've got answers:

Girl Scout Dilemma

Ask your own questions in the comments or drop me a line.

Image Credit: Creativesam, Flickr