SURVIVING THE DEATH OF YOUR SPOUSE
After both of my parents died following slow and painful terminal illnesses, I thought losing someone suddenly would be a blessing. How wrong I was. . . . On April 7, 2008, when I found my husband dead on the kitchen floor less than two hours after we had been out to lunch together that bright spring day, the shock of his sudden, unexpected death stunned me. Later, as I grieved, I realized there is no good way to give up someone you dearly love. What I thought would be months of grieving has stretched into three years. While the pain isn’t as raw as it was at the beginning, I still feel part of me is missing. For 37 years, even though I had a successful career as a university president, I was whole only when I was with my husband. Now I am half of the person I was. I miss my husband incredibly, every day, and I don’t think that will ever change.
On my odyssey through grief, I struggled with issues like faith, regret, and purpose. I grappled with countless questions, often finding no answers. What I did find along the way is that every person’s grief is as unique as the person who died. And, in most cases, the intensity of grief is directly related to the intensity of the love that was shared. Despite the uniqueness of the person and the relationship shared, I discovered that many well-known writers had words to express their own grief that echoed how I felt inside.
As I read wisdom from great writers, I felt a kinship and understanding that had been missing from people who extended sympathy and love after my husband’s death. Perhaps it was how the writers conveyed their feelings, but their words touched my heart and soul, giving me solace and hope that even though my life would never be the same again, it could still be good.
Having been touched by the words of wisdom I read, I decided to use those same words to form the basis of a book on grieving the loss of a spouse. This week, that book—SIPS OF SUSTENANCE—was published by Wakestone Press. While I don’t presume to know how any other person feels, I believe this book will provide insight on how to survive sorrow and find life again on the other side of despair. The tips are offered in small sips, because I know that in the early stages of loss when a person’s insides are heaving, a sip of sustenance is all that can be swallowed.
For the next few weeks, I will share a few of the insights from SIPS OF SUSTENANCE in this blog. My wish is that they will bring hope and healing to those who are in the throes of grief.
On my odyssey through grief, I struggled with issues like faith, regret, and purpose. I grappled with countless questions, often finding no answers. What I did find along the way is that every person’s grief is as unique as the person who died. And, in most cases, the intensity of grief is directly related to the intensity of the love that was shared. Despite the uniqueness of the person and the relationship shared, I discovered that many well-known writers had words to express their own grief that echoed how I felt inside.
As I read wisdom from great writers, I felt a kinship and understanding that had been missing from people who extended sympathy and love after my husband’s death. Perhaps it was how the writers conveyed their feelings, but their words touched my heart and soul, giving me solace and hope that even though my life would never be the same again, it could still be good.
Having been touched by the words of wisdom I read, I decided to use those same words to form the basis of a book on grieving the loss of a spouse. This week, that book—SIPS OF SUSTENANCE—was published by Wakestone Press. While I don’t presume to know how any other person feels, I believe this book will provide insight on how to survive sorrow and find life again on the other side of despair. The tips are offered in small sips, because I know that in the early stages of loss when a person’s insides are heaving, a sip of sustenance is all that can be swallowed.
For the next few weeks, I will share a few of the insights from SIPS OF SUSTENANCE in this blog. My wish is that they will bring hope and healing to those who are in the throes of grief.
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