So you want to be a dog

This is from a forward a friend sent me. If you have a dog, you know exactly what this is talking about. If you don't, or rather have never, then feel free to skip over this. I probabaly wouldn't have got several of these pre-puppy, either.
TEN PEEVES THAT DOGS HAVE ABOUT HUMANS 
 1.  
Blaming your farts on me.....
not funny... not funny at all !!!
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2. 
Yelling at me for barking.
I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG
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3. 
Taking me for a walk, then
not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway? 

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4.
Any trick that involves balancing
food on my nose.  Stop it!
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5.
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff
up when you ' re not home. 

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6.
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog!  Whoooo Hoooooooo what
a proud moment for the top of the food chain.   

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7.
Taking me to the vet for ' the big snip ' , then acting
surprised when I freak out every time we go back! 

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8.
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. 
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet. 

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9.
Dog sweaters.  Hello ???
Haven't you noticed the fur?
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10.
How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth.  You're just jealous.
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Now lay off me on some of these things.
We both know who's boss here!
You don't see me picking up your poop, do you?

EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY.
 
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. 

CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT! 

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