Last Week's Tweets

'One Seriously Messed-Up Week In The Otherwise Mundane And Uneventful Life of Jack Samsonite' – will be published 1 month today! #
Did my 1st proper training run for the Great Manchester 10k Run last night. Did 3k. Knee seized up after 2k. In a word… Reallynotgood! #
Only 4 weeks til One Seriously Messed-Up Week is published! To celebrate I'm giving away 1 signed copy each week! RT to enter #JackSamsonite #
"The ones who don't show it all off have a lot more appeal than the ones who paint it orange and flaunt it for the builders" #JackSamsonite #
Goodreads just recommended @iHeartRevenants Die For Me, to me! I guess I better order it! #
Only 4 weeks until One Seriously Messed-Up Week is published! To celebrate I'm giving away 1 signed copy each… http://fb.me/Xfx10b0j #
Hello and thanks to all my new followers! #
Important! Whenever you burn 236 calories on a 20 min jog, you must always restore your energy by eating 500 calories of choc after! Right? #
Important! I must remember I am a very manly man and must try to stop discussing things like calories & chocolate in public. Ooh! Glee's on! #
To enter my Twitter giveaway of 'One Seriously Messed-Up Week…' (signed, sorry), simply RT this tweet! #JackSamsonite #
May the 5th be with you! Oh… Hang on… Frick! I missed it! Next year. It's gonna be so clever you won't believe it! Only 364 days to go! #
And whilst we're counting down, only 30 days until One Seriously Messed-Up Week… Don't forget to RT to enter the giveaway! #JackSamsonite #
"My mouth dried up, my pits did the opposite. She has this thing called 'hotness' and I appear to be severely allergic." #JackSamsonite #
Note to old man in M&S men's room: if you don't lock the door, & someone walks in on you, mid poo, saying 'occupied' is too little too late! #
Got so engrossed with writing that I forgot about the parking limit! Got back to my car nearly 2 hrs after the ticket expired. 1st ever fine #
Still waiting for Orange to remove Safeguard from my mobile broadband. According to them the @AtomBooks blog isn't suitable for under 18s?! #
"Eleanor is destined to be with me and I'm not going to let a stupid little thing like fate get in the way of that" #JackSamsonite #
To enter my signed giveaway of 'One Seriously Messed-Up Week…' simply RT this tweet! #JackSamsonite #
Some brand new (for me) & interesting #FF s @lalalen @MilesWestwood @MackandSaund @minnielovesit @CethanLeahy @Avas_Writer @OzAlleyCat #
Fantastic! Thank you @mattlibrarian , that's very nice to hear! Glad you're enjoying it. @atombooks #
Hello, thank you and welcome to my new followers. Plus a BIG thanks to everyone entering my giveaway (which closes Wed 11th). Keep it up! #
Thought I'd avoid the pricey drinks in Costa, so bought an innocent smoothie… £2.30! £2.30!!!!!!!! #
Done writing for the day (2000 words). Now must drive home, do a 2 mile jog, shower, eat, collect girl child from nursery & all in 1 hour! #
On my way to see Hugh Laurie in concert! @cupcakes4clara has threatened to faint. #
For the first time in YEARS I am the only one in the house that isn't tired! #
"Dear God, please could you fix it for me to have the ground do that opening up & swallowing thing I've heard so much about" #JackSamsonite #
3 days left to RT a #JackSamsonite tweet to enter my signed 'One Seriously Messed-Up Week…' giveaway. #
Went for a 20 min jog that turned into a 30 min jog when I got lost HALF A MILE FROM MY HOUSE! #
"If I, Futureboy, cannot control my own destiny, then I am just going to have to mess around with other people's" #JackSamsonite #

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