Eleven Words William Shakespeare DID NOT Event, as We Celebrate (Wait, That Really Feels Like the Wrong Verb) His Death 400 Years Ago

1. Creepy

2. Inappropriate

3. Creepilyinappropriate

4. Morbidandthensome

5. Morethanslightlycreepilyinappropriateandmorbid

6. LiterarygraverobberishinacravencommercialwaydoyouknowwhatImean

7. Imeanreallywhydowehavetomakeabigdealoutofspansoftimethatendinzeroanyway

8. Arewesolackinginthingstocelebratethatwehavetostartcelebratingpeopledyingevenbrilliantpeople

9.Seriouslywhenwasthelasttimeyouhadapartyofanykindtocommemoratethedateonwhichsomeonedied

10.Isn'tthatsomethingyouwouldsaveforawriteryoureallydidn't...