The thing about vegetarian cooking is it gets boring.

It’s not me, seriously. I’ve subscribed to Vegetarian Times for years. I own over a dozen vegetarian cookbooks, and am quite skilled in the kitchen. But, frankly, there are only so many iterations.

I am eating fish now cuz they don’t have any feelings, according to Kurt Cobain. Plus, I have a fishing license. You know how James Bond has a license to kill? I’m like that only with fish.

But also chorizo, cuz it’s good.

Also, hamburgers (with bleu cheese and Worcestershire mixed right in), for the same reason. Cuz it’s good.

Fresh veggies are kind of scarce around here. I rarely see an avocado anymore.

Meat, bitches. I may be turning my back on the vegetarianism I have practiced since 2010 or some shit.

Sorry, PETA. As far as I’m concerned, you can eat me.