The Hormone Hostage

Captain's Log, Stardate 05.02.2011



I was looking through some of my old posts that I never actually posted and came across this piece of genius, which I got a loooooong time ago from my friend Winter Peck. Winter just got contracted!!! Woohoo!!! so I figured this was as good a time as any to finally post this. Many of you have probably seen this already, but it always makes me smile when I read it.



THE HORMONE HOSTAGE



The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life into his own hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, coworker, or significant other.



Alternatives to the questions listed below:



SAFER: The 1st alternative question listed below

SAFEST: The 2nd alternative question below

ULTRA SAFE: The 3rd alternative question below



What's for dinner?



Answers:

Can I help you with dinner?

Where would you like to go for dinner?

Here, have some wine.



Are you wearing that?



Answers:

Wow, you sure look good in brown!

Wow!

Look at you! Here, have some wine.



What are you so worked up about?



Answers:

Could we be overreacting?

Here's my paycheck.

Here, have some wine.



Should you be eating that:



Answers:

You know, there are a lot of apples left.

Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?

Here, have some wine.



What did you do all day?



Answers:

I hope you didn't over-do it today.

I've always loved you in that robe.

Here, have some wine.