"Why Not Black Thursday?"
(Disclaimer note to readers: The return of Brad Nelson Here... via Pascal Marco's blog has been rumored for some time now. And that time has come with the conclusion of the most recent Black Friday retail frenzy. In response to this orgy of madness, Brad has dispatched his first op-ed piece in over five years, pleading his former student, Pascal, to oblige him by posting his ramblings right here on this blog. So, until Brad creates (or his fans clamor for) his own personal web log, Pascal is happy to indulge his one time writing mentor.)
Brad Nelson Here...
So, I ask: what's keeping the American consumer from demanding that retailers make available to him and her a Black Thursday? Why must we wait until the stroke of midnight (please do not read this as "why must we strokes wait until midnight") Thanksgiving evening before we can stampede the doors of our local Wal-Mart or Target store and trample our strange, just-slept-all-night-on-the-sidewalk-with-them, bedfellows?
I, for one, see no reason other than this: Thanksgiving must, more than any other national holiday, remain sacrosanct.
"Thanksgiving must, more than any other national holiday, remain sacrosanct."--Brad Nelson
That word I use--sacrosanct--is not to be taken lightly. Few things in our wonderful country are still regarded as such. Webster's defines the Latin-derived compound word as most sacred or holy; inviolable ; immune from criticism or violation. Some very strong language indeed. And I admit I may be pouring the gravy on a bit too thick when I point out that Thanksgiving and the word sacrosanct came into being at almost the identical time in history: the early 1600s.
There is no other holiday, or day for that matter, including the Lord's very own day, that is more revered in the United States than the last Thursday in November. It is the only one of our main holidays that is not prone to float and change its date due to Gregorian calendric adjustments. (I wonder if the Mayans may not have been involved here. Note to self--write future op-ed piece entitled, "Those Crazy Mayans: How Not to Lose Your Head Over Missing an Important Date.") Our national feast day is always the last Thursday in November. Period. Gravy spot on the white tablecloth that looks eerily like an exclamation point.
This most hallowed of days is not to be tampered with even by the Almighty (dollar, that is, not God, for Christ's sake!) nor be threatened by the prurient-like pursuit of 2 for 1 Xbox deals or $199.00 48" LCD TVs. For God's sake, what have we as a consuming people become? If stores are opening at 12:01am the day after Thanksgiving for this confounding-named day of Black Friday, what's to keep that store from opening right after the last last slice of pumpkin pie with whip cream is served at perhaps 7pm for heaven's sake?
Black Friday Frenzy.
Sacrosanct. Merriam nor Webster didn't make up this word to describe some poorly conceptualized or otherwise frivolous event. No. They've reserved this word for us to use for the likes of describing TV watching. For example, Bonanza on Sunday night (60s), Laugh-in on Monday night (70s), Cosby on Thursday nights (80s)...well, you get my point. It's a word solely set-aside for describing such things as how we should treat the office of President of the United States, or, maybe more accurately, the reason behind why you mustn't wear white after Labor Day (note to self for another topic to post on my pal Pascal's blog--working title: "Labor Day Myths and Legends Debunked!").
But I digress.
Sacrosanct: holy, inviolable. Thanksgiving is a day we should only be thinking about thanking and giving and giving and thanking. Not a day wondering if we should carry pepper spray with us when we make the mad dash for the iPad2s selling at iPad1 prices just in case we need to incapacitate the poor slob who was only there to run push his wheel-chair-bound wife with the cannula stuck in her nostrils while connected to her portable oxygen tank he unselfishly slung over his shoulder whilst pushing her toward nirvana.
C'mon! Can anything be more sacred than that expression of pure love? Believe me, in my day had anyone suggested that we mess at all with anything related to the sanctity of Thanksgiving they would have been called a Commie. Should anyone out there, even the largest retailer in the world, Sam and his Mart, suggest that we start tampering with the 24 hours devoted to the hallowed sacred rite bestowed upon us by our forefathers...well then by the power vested in me I label them no better than terrorists.
We need more people like Anthony Hardwick to step up to the proverbial feast-filled plate and decry as he has that this most un-sanctimonious of intrusions upon our highest of American holy days must STOP. We are meant--dare I say entitled, although no one can ever accuse me, Brad Nelson of being in favor of entitlements--to feast and then gloat over the gluttony of our happiest of holidays.
Anthony Hardwick--a real American hero.
I leave you with this final thought, speaking of terrorists: as my dear old dad, Farnsworth "Nellie" Nelson, a WWII-decorated-for-heroism-real-Amercian-hero, used to always say right after finishing his last scoop of Neopolitan ice cream before retiring to his Lazy Boy and falling asleep while watching football, "If there was ever a day our enemies should attack us, if they were smart they'd do it on Thanksgiving Day."
Just sayin'.
Brad Nelson Here...
So, I ask: what's keeping the American consumer from demanding that retailers make available to him and her a Black Thursday? Why must we wait until the stroke of midnight (please do not read this as "why must we strokes wait until midnight") Thanksgiving evening before we can stampede the doors of our local Wal-Mart or Target store and trample our strange, just-slept-all-night-on-the-sidewalk-with-them, bedfellows?
I, for one, see no reason other than this: Thanksgiving must, more than any other national holiday, remain sacrosanct.
"Thanksgiving must, more than any other national holiday, remain sacrosanct."--Brad NelsonThat word I use--sacrosanct--is not to be taken lightly. Few things in our wonderful country are still regarded as such. Webster's defines the Latin-derived compound word as most sacred or holy; inviolable ; immune from criticism or violation. Some very strong language indeed. And I admit I may be pouring the gravy on a bit too thick when I point out that Thanksgiving and the word sacrosanct came into being at almost the identical time in history: the early 1600s.
There is no other holiday, or day for that matter, including the Lord's very own day, that is more revered in the United States than the last Thursday in November. It is the only one of our main holidays that is not prone to float and change its date due to Gregorian calendric adjustments. (I wonder if the Mayans may not have been involved here. Note to self--write future op-ed piece entitled, "Those Crazy Mayans: How Not to Lose Your Head Over Missing an Important Date.") Our national feast day is always the last Thursday in November. Period. Gravy spot on the white tablecloth that looks eerily like an exclamation point.
This most hallowed of days is not to be tampered with even by the Almighty (dollar, that is, not God, for Christ's sake!) nor be threatened by the prurient-like pursuit of 2 for 1 Xbox deals or $199.00 48" LCD TVs. For God's sake, what have we as a consuming people become? If stores are opening at 12:01am the day after Thanksgiving for this confounding-named day of Black Friday, what's to keep that store from opening right after the last last slice of pumpkin pie with whip cream is served at perhaps 7pm for heaven's sake?
Black Friday Frenzy.Sacrosanct. Merriam nor Webster didn't make up this word to describe some poorly conceptualized or otherwise frivolous event. No. They've reserved this word for us to use for the likes of describing TV watching. For example, Bonanza on Sunday night (60s), Laugh-in on Monday night (70s), Cosby on Thursday nights (80s)...well, you get my point. It's a word solely set-aside for describing such things as how we should treat the office of President of the United States, or, maybe more accurately, the reason behind why you mustn't wear white after Labor Day (note to self for another topic to post on my pal Pascal's blog--working title: "Labor Day Myths and Legends Debunked!").
But I digress.
Sacrosanct: holy, inviolable. Thanksgiving is a day we should only be thinking about thanking and giving and giving and thanking. Not a day wondering if we should carry pepper spray with us when we make the mad dash for the iPad2s selling at iPad1 prices just in case we need to incapacitate the poor slob who was only there to run push his wheel-chair-bound wife with the cannula stuck in her nostrils while connected to her portable oxygen tank he unselfishly slung over his shoulder whilst pushing her toward nirvana.
C'mon! Can anything be more sacred than that expression of pure love? Believe me, in my day had anyone suggested that we mess at all with anything related to the sanctity of Thanksgiving they would have been called a Commie. Should anyone out there, even the largest retailer in the world, Sam and his Mart, suggest that we start tampering with the 24 hours devoted to the hallowed sacred rite bestowed upon us by our forefathers...well then by the power vested in me I label them no better than terrorists.
We need more people like Anthony Hardwick to step up to the proverbial feast-filled plate and decry as he has that this most un-sanctimonious of intrusions upon our highest of American holy days must STOP. We are meant--dare I say entitled, although no one can ever accuse me, Brad Nelson of being in favor of entitlements--to feast and then gloat over the gluttony of our happiest of holidays.
Anthony Hardwick--a real American hero.I leave you with this final thought, speaking of terrorists: as my dear old dad, Farnsworth "Nellie" Nelson, a WWII-decorated-for-heroism-real-Amercian-hero, used to always say right after finishing his last scoop of Neopolitan ice cream before retiring to his Lazy Boy and falling asleep while watching football, "If there was ever a day our enemies should attack us, if they were smart they'd do it on Thanksgiving Day."
Just sayin'.
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