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What's wrong with wanting to be a homemaker? I liked the scene in the film Mona Lisa Smile where Julia Roberts character is going off on one because Julia Styles character is turning down a chance to go to law school to get married. In the end she (Julia Styles) says 'I don't want what you think I am capable of, or what you think is right for me.'
Diana's story is a tragic one. Kate's isn't the same and doesn't have to be.
I'm not sure there is anything that its 'safe to be' in the modern world. Better to just get on and be what you want to be instead, or at least work towards it.
Casey - as I said in my blog post, I've seen a lot more failure (tragedy, madness, alcoholism and death) because women sacrificed themselves for men. I'm not saying it's impossible to find happiness and self-fulfilment in that way - but I've personally never witnessed it.
Casey wrote: "What's wrong with wanting to be a homemaker? "
Absolutely nothing. Provided you have something to fall back on if you are abandoned and left holding the bag. Placing all your faith in the idea that a man (or a woman if it's the other way around) will continue to provide you with his personal and legal support in this day and age is just reckless. It didn't work out well for Diana, either.
Absolutely nothing. Provided you have something to fall back on if you are abandoned and left holding the bag. Placing all your faith in the idea that a man (or a woman if it's the other way around) will continue to provide you with his personal and legal support in this day and age is just reckless. It didn't work out well for Diana, either.
I had no interest in the Royal wedding...Kate never seems to smile...and looks so uncomfortable all the time. William atleast tries to be a "people" person. i'm a homemaker but i have my own identity too. i couldn't live under someone else...that's not me. but for some...they like that...and that's fine too.
i tried writing..i though...stay at home mum would be great for my ambitions...until i realised it cut too much into my reading time, LOL...i still write shorts for friends and family...and some's up on here but i'll never be an author *sighs*
The problem takes over the cancellation of the person whether you are a housewife or a businesswoman. I can be maintained by my husband but still have millions of interests, I know how to be strong, I know where his space ends and where my own starts. And I can work all day and hate what I do, and I canceled myself for it, and go home and vent on who stands before me.I believe that everyone in his life had his own experience from which he drews some conclusions. I would have preferred that my mother was a housewife instead of coming home from work and blow off steam on his children, because I would have preferred not to spend the evenings to pick up pieces around the house as a result of his hysterics. Or I would have preferred that my reaction to any sudden movement of her was not to cover my face. Or I would have preferred to avoid having to shield my younger brother with my body.
And even if a woman is not very strong physically, the more damage has been made psychologically. (I think it's why I rarely get angry, I can not cry in public, I can not stand when people vent on things/people).
Anyway, why this depressing, but with a happy ending, little story? Because I believe something very banal, namely that no matter what you do (as long as it does not harm others), what is matter is how you do things and who you are. Man or woman.
I can be happy spending my life painting and reading books or I can feel trapped by what I do. Of course, is not an easy thing to do, but sometimes it's worth a try. And do not hate those who can't do it .. well, this is not really an easy thing to do,too. I know it very well. We try. We fail. We are human.
And...that's it! :)
Sarasaya wrote: "Because I believe something very banal, namely that no matter what you do (as long as it does not harm others), what is matter is how you do things and who you are. Man or woman."Beautifully put Sara *hugs*
Kirsty, that's the one thing I find about writing - I get so caught up in it I realise I haven't read anything for ages - and my to-read list is soooo long and getting longer everyday. It's a case of being torn over what I love to do most.
On the other hand, Sara, whatever was wrong with your mother (and obviously something was) might have been even worse if she'd been home all day. She may have been just as angry, and you would have spent all day around her.
Of course you're right, even if we'll never know. This is why I think the problem is not what you do. Even if she had done the work for which she studied, maybe we would have been the object to another kind of frustration. Well, at least in this case, I hate to generalize and I can only speak from the perspective of my personal experience.Obviously, there is a chance that everything would have been a bed of roses!
But my brother is one of the nicest people I ever knew, I don't go around torturing animals and I don't have too much psychosis, so that's okay. ;)



I agree with you on Kate and her apparent lack of any self identity. To me she's an anachronism in her own right. A woman whose destiny is to marry well. Not a safe thing to be in the modern world.
And yes I want more crusader stuff!! Is Kate going to be working with you on the sequels? Can I make a pitch for Byzantium and Varangians? Please? First born children and all that. :)