Being healthy VS Being a Victim

For the past___ years of my life (girls never tell their age), I have soaked up the condition of negativity to the point that I see it as the truth to life rather than a choice. It is only luck that brings about positive events and circumstances. And the majority of people I've met in my lifetime have been subjected to this same sort of conditioning. Each day of my life that I spent praying for some degree of good luck and sometimes taking it upon myself to conjure good luck for myself with various superstitions, I felt within the depths of my soul that there had to be more. There was no way I could be SO powerless.

My mother, of course, taught me about God and His love. She told me on a regular basis that as God's children we were given free will-- the ability to choose. This gave me a great measure of hope but as life unfolded before me the more these teachings became more and more contradictory. I have free will... I can choose... but I can't change my circumstances? It's all up to circumstance or as some like to call it, destiny. People hurt and suffer, become dis-eased, find negative situations around every corner and they have NO control over it. The world or God chooses for you.

That's not free will! Am I the only person who sees this?

So, after years and years of anxiety and depression and basically being lost within the confining shadows of this "free will" life, I decided something had to change or I just wasn't going to make it. I started reading. I strayed outside the proverbial box and found myself in the exact same world. Fortunately, this world just simply had a different explanation. A different way of looking at God and life. It all led to the same destination but the road wasn't half as shady.

It started when I watched "What the Bleep Do We Know?" with my husband. It's too detailed for me to explain in one blog but the basis of the information was that we are not without control as we first thought according to theories of quantum physics. This led me to "The Secret" and several others.

Now, many people think this is all a nice big heaping pile of crap but really, if you sit down and listen, without your previous conditioning, you'll see that there's more to this being positive jazz. Why would you want to be negative? The answers that I've received to this question have all been pretty much the same. "I'm not negative. That's just the way life is. It's the truth."

Really? Ok, fine. But what if life didn't have to be that way. What if the possibilities were endless and they were all up to you to choose? Wouldn't you want your life to be this way? If you learned you had a dis-ease, how much would it mean to you to know that you could change it? Yes, this means YOU would have to take responsibility for your life... No, you could not blame God. No, You can not blame the world because it's up to you to choose. Now that sounds more like free will to me.

So, this is the life that I've chosen. I choose to decide for myself. To choose my own path and have faith that I have chosen a good path no matter what happens. If I am sick. I CAN turn it around. I will not lay down and let the sickness own me. I am not a dis-ease and the dis-ease is not me. It is simply a manifestation of something negative in my life that I CAN change.

This thinking has changed my life in ways you can not imagine unless you've begun this life too. I try to use this positive thinking to help others in their time of suffering and pain. To encourage them. To let them know they have a choice and they can change their circumstances. What I've found in this process has shocked me to my toes. People complain when they're sick as if they hated being sick. They cry for the pain to cease. They pray for healing. But then when someone says you can change this-- when someone says to them you don't have to hurt-- you know what they do? They tell you all the reasons why they hurt all the reasons and why it's ok for them to hurt. They fight for their dis-ease.. tooth and nail! Don't you dare try to talk them out of their dis-ease!

This makes me wonder. It makes me ask the question-- Why are they fighting for this dis-ease rather than trying to find ways to be healthy? Is it because it's easier to hurt, to suffer? Or is it because it gives them a reason no to try? It's their reason not to work hard. It gets the attention of others. People will pity you. They won't expect too much out of you because you are a victim. Then we cling to our dis-ease. We fight those who try to give us hope. If I'm healthy no one will see me.... no one will help me... people will expect to try harder.... No one will feel sorry for me.

You know what... yes, it hurts... yes, it seems hard.... But you still have a choice. You can choose to get lost in the woe-is-me or you can choose possibility. You can choose hope. You can choose health. You don't have to be a victim unless you want to be one.