Always in the Shadows

© 2011 Rob Krabbe, Noon At Night PublicationsThis is a piece I wrote for a biographical novel I am about to finish and will publish soon.  This is a poem that speaks from a little girl's heart, telling of her pain. Her story is one of sexual and psychological abuse, and a hellish childhood.
The beast
behind me, in the shadows,
breathes fire and ice,
chasing me
through creek and field.

I run, dodge, duck, bleed,
and the bones of my feet
push through the flesh
when I scratch
clues in the dirt
to find my way out.

I am in my forever hell place.

"Little fragile girl," he says
and overpowers me. Again.
It's easy for the creatureto catch such a small fish
in his mighty talons.

Over and under,
bending in two,
grinding,
pushing, cutting, drilling
his way inside,
shoving his violence
into me.

He stabs me with the hatred
he keeps hidden
under the flap
of his fat belly.

He pierces my body,
opening spigots of blood.
Oh that I may simply die.
Please let me hold my breath.
Only one breath I want to hold -

forever.

Fountain of blood
dances and spins and
trickles, trickles, trickles
into his fishing pond.
Then he tells me not
to let the bed bugs bite
and kisses me good night.

I vomit in the morning
when I still smell like him.