Emotional Wounds: Losing a Loved One To A Random Act of Violence

When you’re writing a character, it’s important to know why she is the way she is. Knowing her backstory is important to achieving this end, and one of the most impactful pieces of a character’s backstory is her emotional wound. This negative experience from the past is so intense that a character will go to great lengths to avoid experiencing that kind of pain and negative emotion again. As a result, certain behaviors, beliefs, and character traits will emerge.

Characters, like real people, are unique, and will respond to wounding events differently. The vast array of possible emotional wounds combined with each character’s personality gives you many options in terms of how your character will turn out. With the right amount of exploration, you should be able to come up with a character whose past appropriately affects her present, resulting in a realistic character that will ring true with readers. Understanding what wounds a protagonist bears will also help you plot out her arc, creating a compelling journey of change that will satisfy readers.

NOTE: We realize that sometimes a wound we profile may have personal meaning, stirring up the past for some of our readers. It is not our intent to create emotional turmoil. Please know that we research each wounding topic carefully to treat it with the utmost respect.

Losing a Loved One To A Random Act of Violence

Examples:

killed by errant bullets in a drive by shooting
a bystander gunned down during a gang dispute (in a restaurant, on the street, etc.)
a robbery where the criminals leave no witnesses
dying in a fire that was deliberately set
a child or spouse who is killed in a school shooting
a loved one who is jumped by addicts who are delusional or hallucinating
being killed in a terrorist attack (a bombing, bio-terrorism, etc.)
a love one who steps in to break up a fight and is stabbed or shot
being fatally wounded after a mugging
becoming a target because of mistaken identity
being run over as criminals flee a scene or during a police chase
dying in the line of duty (police officers, swat, bomb squad, etc.)
being grabbed and used as a human shield
being killed as a message to others (hostages, etc.)

Basic Needs Often Compromised By This Wound: safety and security, love and belonging

False Beliefs That May Be Embraced As a Result of This Wound:

evil always wins
happiness is temporary; it is only a matter of time before what you love is taken from you
I should have been able to prevent it–I am weak
I am a terrible (spouse, parent, etc.) for not protecting (the victim) when it was my duty to
it is better to not love anything than love and have it stolen from you
the system is broken, there is no protection or justice for people like (the victim)

Positive Attributes That May Result: appreciative, decisive, empathetic, generous, hospitable, introverted, just, kind, loyal, merciful, nurturing, observant, passionate, pensive, perceptive, persistent, private, protective, responsible, sensible, socially aware, spiritual, supportive, wise

Negative Traits That May Result: addictive, antisocial, confrontational, cynical, hostile, humorless, impulsive, indecisive, inflexible, insecure, irrational, needy, nervous, obsessive, paranoid, pessimistic, prejudiced, rebellious, reckless, resentful, self-destructive, stubborn, superstitious, suspicious, timid, vindictive, violent, volatile, withdrawn, worrywart

Resulting Fears:

fear of being alone
fear of darkness
fear of letting a loved one out of one’s sight
fear of not being in control
fear of specific situations (that tie into the circumstances of the loved one’s end, e. g.: being afraid to drive if one’s loved one was carjacked)
fear of a specific race, gender, or person type/features (people with facial scars, people with a similar weight and build, etc.) as the attacker
fear of trusting people
fear of certain areas that remind one of the location one’s loved one died
fear of strangers and crowded areas

Possible Habits That May Emerge:

obsessively locking and checking one’s door and window locks
repeatedly checking in with loved ones when out of sight (texts, phone calls, checking on children throughout the night, etc.)
carrying a weapon
having a cell phone always fully charged and handy
refusing to go out, making excuses to avoid crowded areas or strange people
adhering to a specific routine that one deems as “safe”
forcing one’s remaining family to adhere to safety protocols (calling for a ride not walking, calling if one is going to be late, coming home at a specific curfew, etc.)
difficulty trusting new people, remaining aloof
visiting the grave site or area where one’s loved one died often (and possibly becoming obsessive about creating and maintaining a memorial)
drinking or self-medicating more (or developing a habit)

TIP: If you need help understanding the impact of these factors, please read our introductory post on the Emotional Wound Thesaurus. For our current list of Emotional Wound Entries, go here.

For other Descriptive Thesaurus Collections, go here.

Image: Aitoff @ Pixabay

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