Partial Kick Ass Heroine Identification Guide
A partial guide, dammit, not a partial heroine. I'd do a chart, but that involves software and clicking. Plus I'm hiding from my family and time is a-ticking. I got ten minutes for this entry.
Today we'll be talking about two major KAHs Rural and Urban, Paranormal. We've heard that the Paranormal KAH might soon be a vanishing species--their sales are down and that's a pity. We happen to love KAHs which is why we think we can write a guide.
First, a few basic KAH facts. All KAHs must:
1. Kick ass. And not just human ass. Demons, vampires, werewolves, jackel-headed gods, fairies, succubi you name it. Their asses will be handed to them by the KAH
2. Be part of a series. No point in Stand Alone KAHs. It just doesn't happen. If you read a stand alone KAH it's because her numbers didn't work out and the publisher dropped her. The author was ready to do 10 more books. In fact the author probably has already written those books.
3. Demonstrate increasing power. Over the life of the series, the asses she kicks will get bigger, in a manner of speaking. She'll start out kicking human ass and by book six, she'll take on Overlords of the Universe.
4. Be completely taken aback by her increasing power and chances are, she's going to fight (or mourn) the fact that her Kick Assery Powers are getting bigger and bigger.
4a at least once per book wish she was a normal sort of a female.
5. Have men swoon over her. And not in a dreamy way. They will think all about sexxxing her. They will grow hard the moment she comes into the room--or into their dreams or wherever she shows up. Guys all over the known and unknown universe want her in the worst way.
6. have a few women sigh for her too, depending on the publisher.
7. will attract creatures outside her species. Those lust-maddened males and female might not even exist in this world. AND it's important that she'll be especially attractive to those demons, vampires, werewolves, jackel-headed gods, fairies, succubi that she's ass-kicking. They want her at the same time they know they must try to smash her to bits. Good luck, creatures. You are going to end up her love-slaves.
8. have either a dead or very strange mother--even quirkier than the KAH because the mother has usually damped down the awesome power flowing through her blood. Her father is definitely dead. Usually under mysterious circs. Or he was an unknown factor. In book four, we'll learn he was a god.
HOW DO WE KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN URBAN AND RURAL KAH, PARANORMAL?
You'd think it was just a matter of the place they're living, wouldn't you? YOU'D BE WRONG.
She'll have an object lust. It is on the check list the author wrote for the heroine, something to give the girl a unique personality. A quirk.
IS this object lust for:
Jimmy Choo shoes--she's urban (U)
Muscle cars--she's rural (R)
Some supernatural shapeshifting is involved, doggy style.
Does our KAH or one of her men turn into:
A werewolf--U
A coyote--R
Both--U and R. You'll have to use some other method to ID her.
She will visit strange worlds in her dream states and/or power-gathering times:
Obvious Indian reservation, empty red landscapes--R
Deserted, crumbling cities--U
She has to have a regular profession when she's not kicking ass. Is she:
A car mechanic--R
A police officer--U
A bank manager--who the hell are you kidding? Don't be a weisenheimer.
Uh oh. I've been discovered. I was just going to write about the animals you'd find in her dwelling but I think we all know they all have cats. My middle kid informs me that I must go buy the peaches that will go into the sonic screw drivers for tonights Doctor Who party. BUY THEM NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
Today we'll be talking about two major KAHs Rural and Urban, Paranormal. We've heard that the Paranormal KAH might soon be a vanishing species--their sales are down and that's a pity. We happen to love KAHs which is why we think we can write a guide.
First, a few basic KAH facts. All KAHs must:
1. Kick ass. And not just human ass. Demons, vampires, werewolves, jackel-headed gods, fairies, succubi you name it. Their asses will be handed to them by the KAH
2. Be part of a series. No point in Stand Alone KAHs. It just doesn't happen. If you read a stand alone KAH it's because her numbers didn't work out and the publisher dropped her. The author was ready to do 10 more books. In fact the author probably has already written those books.
3. Demonstrate increasing power. Over the life of the series, the asses she kicks will get bigger, in a manner of speaking. She'll start out kicking human ass and by book six, she'll take on Overlords of the Universe.
4. Be completely taken aback by her increasing power and chances are, she's going to fight (or mourn) the fact that her Kick Assery Powers are getting bigger and bigger.
4a at least once per book wish she was a normal sort of a female.
5. Have men swoon over her. And not in a dreamy way. They will think all about sexxxing her. They will grow hard the moment she comes into the room--or into their dreams or wherever she shows up. Guys all over the known and unknown universe want her in the worst way.
6. have a few women sigh for her too, depending on the publisher.
7. will attract creatures outside her species. Those lust-maddened males and female might not even exist in this world. AND it's important that she'll be especially attractive to those demons, vampires, werewolves, jackel-headed gods, fairies, succubi that she's ass-kicking. They want her at the same time they know they must try to smash her to bits. Good luck, creatures. You are going to end up her love-slaves.
8. have either a dead or very strange mother--even quirkier than the KAH because the mother has usually damped down the awesome power flowing through her blood. Her father is definitely dead. Usually under mysterious circs. Or he was an unknown factor. In book four, we'll learn he was a god.
HOW DO WE KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN URBAN AND RURAL KAH, PARANORMAL?
You'd think it was just a matter of the place they're living, wouldn't you? YOU'D BE WRONG.
She'll have an object lust. It is on the check list the author wrote for the heroine, something to give the girl a unique personality. A quirk.
IS this object lust for:
Jimmy Choo shoes--she's urban (U)
Muscle cars--she's rural (R)
Some supernatural shapeshifting is involved, doggy style.
Does our KAH or one of her men turn into:
A werewolf--U
A coyote--R
Both--U and R. You'll have to use some other method to ID her.
She will visit strange worlds in her dream states and/or power-gathering times:
Obvious Indian reservation, empty red landscapes--R
Deserted, crumbling cities--U
She has to have a regular profession when she's not kicking ass. Is she:
A car mechanic--R
A police officer--U
A bank manager--who the hell are you kidding? Don't be a weisenheimer.
Uh oh. I've been discovered. I was just going to write about the animals you'd find in her dwelling but I think we all know they all have cats. My middle kid informs me that I must go buy the peaches that will go into the sonic screw drivers for tonights Doctor Who party. BUY THEM NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
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