Updates and stuff…

I've been quiet this week for two reasons. First, I had a paid editing job that required most of my brain cells to unscramble. At the same time, Portal 2 dropped. Anybody following me on Twitter knows that I'm a Portal addict, and I play the first game about once a month, sometimes twice if the muse hadn't grabbed me too firmly during that particular month.

Well Portal 2 is three times longer than Portal, and I never wanted it to end. Everything I loved is still in there, but they've added a long, long history for you to work through, and the older experiments are full of "new" compounds that either assist your jumps, your run speed, or your portal placement. It may sound complicated, but every concept is laid out in an easier first lesson before the puzzles get progressively more complex. Later levels are…VAST. HUGE. Just eye pooping graphics everywhere, and this time around you get three "narrators." GlaDOS makes up one familiar voice, but she's joined by a "corrupt core" named Wheatley, and by the prerecorded messages of Aperture Labs founder Cave Johnson. (Who is funny in a very, very morbid way. No, even more morbid than GlaDOS.)

But when you get to the Cave Johnson portion, GlaDOS undergoes some personality changes that I really, really loved. I won't spoil it for anyone, but because of that part of the game, the ending made me sad because of GlaDOS. No really, the murderous AI I killed in the first game has my sympathy at the end of this second game. And that is the mark of some great game writing. There were some little unrealistic niggles I had with the ending. (If you get hit by a direct bomb blast from the villain, you shouldn't be able to hear him gloat a moment later, even if you don't die. The blast would deafen you.) But it is a video game, and the problem here is consistent throughout the game. And since the game is so gosh-darned fun, I'm not going to detract from it for a niggling minor detail.

So I give Portal 2 an enthusiastic 5 stars, and I recommend it to everyone who likes fun. I'll even recommend it for people who don't like fun, because the cynical humor will make your miserable old asses laugh. Seriously, go buy this game. You'll thank me for it.

And now, the bad news. Tonight, the deadline will pass on Eddie's First Circus, and I'm nowhere near 20 sales. I don't see it happening tonight even if I went out and ballyhooed all day. I was actually planning on goofing off all day, so with this impending failure, I'm no longer going to bother doing incentives either. I've actually considered doing the Kindle giveaway thingie, but since I hate Amazon…it sends mixed signals, I think.

I've got to do one last serious ballyhoo for my duel novella release in May. I'm not sure if the situation has changed in a week or not, but the last update from Belfire Press said 7 print copies of The Life and Death of a Sex Doll were ordered out of the 100 limited edition copies. Of course there will also be an ebook, but in theory there ought to be at least 93 people who would like these sci-fi stories in a print format. I just have to figure out how to find them. (No pressure for me, of course. Just the impending failure of my only professional book release due to my complete ineptitude. Yes, that is flop sweat trickling over my brow.)

Anyway, between guitar lessons, language practice, fun with Portal 2, and the editing job, I had to put away all of the writing projects, which included removing the free fiction from the blogs. But in the meantime, someone came along and started commenting and reading. So I left the rest up for them. Their comments often include typos they've found, so I need the comments for the edits on the ebook conversion jobs. For now, I will be leaving up the fiction. It's still coming down after I've used the reader suggestions, but as this project is long term and indefinite, there's no final date for the free stuff on the blogs.

Behold, the power of useful comments.

I did start a conversion on Haunting Sins, but as I said in previous posts, I won't work for more than two or three hours before I go do something else. Writing has to remain a hobby until it starts to pay some bills. Since it never has, I'm no longer willing to go for a 14 hour work day. Even for the paid editing job, I'm not putting in any more than five hours.

And, by the way, the effect on my health has been pretty good. I have less fatigue attacks, and I'm able to get a little housework done. I'm still having bad mood swings, but I'm trying to fight them and just focus on my lessons.

The language practice does seem to be helping. I've muddle my way through conversations with people on the street and at the store, and everyone who's seen me before is now stunned that yes, I can speak. But I have to keep up the practice, so I can build on these little successes.

The same is true of my guitar practice. I'm still on page 1 of chapter one, the chords. But I can now form all the 21 basic chords. I'm struggling to form barre chords, as my middle finger always tries to move to assist the index finger instead of staying in the fret where it needs to be. I can form an A9 barre chord after much struggling, and it HURTS. And this is not a good pain. So, all I can say is, I can't wait for my hand and forearm muscles to firm up.

And my gosh, really can't wait for the calluses to form! Because as it is, even with half calluses built up on the tips, I can't hold ANY chord for longer that thirty seconds before I have to stop and wait for the grooves to fade. Otherwise, when I go for on the chords, those grooves…they mess me up. I can't even really explain how without devoting a page or two to it. But suffice it to say, I will look forward to pressing on the strings without them biting me.

Anywho, I can now do 12 of the 21 chords from memory. I go in the living room and gab with hubby between chords to let my finger rest, and I do all the chords I can remember over and over. Then I do chromatic scales, and then I wander back to my room to open the book and practice the chords I didn't remember. THEN after I put away the guitar, I break out the hand exerciser for a post-practice workout.

And yet, I'm still too weak to make barre chords…and someday, SOMEDAY, I may even make it to page two, chord pairs.

I download a free guitar tab for Van Halen's Finish What You Started. I can play the whole intro now…but I play it so so damned slow, you'd never recognize it. X^D My two "Guitar Hero" starter songs are both Van Halen numbers. The other is 3:16, a solo piece composed by Eddie for his son, Wolfgang. I'm sure my cousin Bill would be happy to know this. But my reason isn't sentimental. Both tunes use a three finger plucking technique that I long to master, and both move at a fairly relaxed pace (compared to a lot of rock tunes, that is.)

Once I master these, my next tunes to learn will be Green Day's Time of your life and Fiona Apple's Extraordinary Machine. So if I can master these too, you can probably figre out what will be in my first YouTube concert set. Mostly acoustic numbers, but played with Lili (

I also have this idea that after I have enough Italian and guitar licks down I'm going…to audition at a comedy club. If that doesn't get me booed off the stage and/or stoned to death, I may attempt translating my books and hiring a POD printer in Italy to make dirt cheap books. Who knows? Maybe if I play to the local market, maybe they'll buy my crap.

Or, that's the pipe dream, I guess. For now, I'm just learning chords and verbs, one day at a time.

And speaking of which, it's time for me to wander outside for a bit.