My mother can't afford to watch JuJu's trial because she's not on medical aid

I bought a bag of catnip from a Mogadishu merchant the other day and emptied it over the cats when I got home. They went berserk, pulling off outrageous break-dancing moves, biting their tails and generally behaving madder than Mad Bob Mugabe off his meds at full moon. Maybe it wasn't catnip at all. Or, if it was, it must have been the Somalian version. Khatnip.

After an hour or so of watching the animals behaving like lunatics, I switched on the eNews channel to watch live coverage of others ...