It's Probably Where You Left It
Even before the murder of millions of brain cells by chemical poisoning my short term memory was never good. I particularly had trouble finding my sunglasses (on my head) and car keys (in my hand). I also would consistently blame someone for either taking or moving the missing object. This lead my Mother to recite the refrain, "It's probably wherever you left it." Being not just a mother but also my Mother she was always right.
Unfortunately the LOL does not subscribe to this motto. Everything has a place and that place is anywhere but where I left it. At night I watch the TV with wireless headphones. This way I can hear the TV and not the LOL. (This makes them one of the greatest inventions of the twentieth century.) The reception works best if the wireless transmitter is on the top shelf. Apparently this is not aesthetically pleasing as every morning the receptor is moved a total of four inches to the second shelf. The problem with the move (other than it is totally unnecessary) is then the headphones don't charge. If the headphones don't charge the LOL's frequency comes through loud and clear.
When I come home for a minute I throw my keys on the table and my jacket on a chair. I use the facilities and by the time I'm ready to head back out the keys and jacket are gone, returned to their rightful place. More accurately that day's given rightful place as the rightful place repeatedly changes.
This musical chairs also applies to clothing and shoes. I may know exactly where in a closet a particular outfit is up until the day I want to wear it. With uncanny foresight the LOL has moved something that has been in one place the better part of four months to a new home. Begging the question, if it lasted four months in one place why on earth did it need to be moved.
I'm sure some of the Faithful, particularly the gentler sex are asking, "What's the big deal? Moving items is a small price to pay for a neat home".
Well let's assume I spend ten minutes a day looking for necessary items that have both inexplicably and unnecessarily vanished. That's over an hour a week, four hours a month or two whole days a year! That's two days I could be surfing not getting aggravated. At this point I don't have many days left (due to the aforementioned chemical poisoning) much less two extra days a year (or a month every decade) to look for crap that should have and could have stayed where I left it.
KOKO
