Bitter Memories by Sue Julsen - Book Review

Before I say anything else I wish to state I consider Sue Julsen to be a very brave woman. To put these experiences of hers into writing, let alone publishing them for all the world to see, must have taken considerable courage. But as I explain later I think we should all be very grateful she has done so. Since writing the book and initially concealing her and other’s identities ‘To protect the innocent and the guilty’ as Sue puts it, she has been brave enough to now reveal her identity by publishing photographs of herself; yet another courageous step.For those who do not know this book is an account of how the author was kidnapped by her own father, twice! Sue Julsen was two the first time but thankfully the family and authorities caught up with them very quickly and retrieved the little girl. Regrettably, her father had learnt from his first attempt and when he took her again, at the age of three, changed his tactics and got away from the area undetected. The book primarily deals with the awful and heartrending circumstances, situations and treatment the little chid was subjected to for the following seven years:Initially her father’s abuse consisted of virtually starving her though he ensured he had enough for himself.For several years they spent most of their life in the car driving from one state to another, presumably to avoid the authorities. He made her steal items he could sell.Within a short period the abuse took on a, how shall I put it, more traditional form, teaching her how to service and satisfy him. In time this abuse extended to other acts and allowing others to ‘use’ her. He often went off with women leaving his very young daughter alone in the car, without food or bathroom facilities.Occasionally they stayed with a variety of women but some of these also proved unpleasant and cruel.Events did change and initially promised a better life but more heartache and sadness were to follow.I must stress the following are my personal observations and opinions. I am not a qualified or trained critic but just a private individual. Reading is a very subjective experience although I do try to be as objective as possible.In the opening chapters Sue Julsen has done an excellent job of capturing how a two and three year old would talk and you do hear a child’s voice in your mind, despite the occasional adult word, which threw me at first. Nevertheless, in the subsequent chapters I found I had to constantly remind myself this was a very young child we were listening to because the language does become increasingly adult in style. In fairness I must point out the terms used were those she heard all the time and therefore it is understandable she uses them as to her it was ‘normal’ language. Nevertheless, it would have helped me if there was an occasional reminder of the girl’s age. After telling us how old she was when kidnapped her age is not mentioned again until nine. Of course there is also the fact, although not referred to, that many young people who experience such traumatic events, grow up very quickly and therefore will talk and consider in a far more mature manner than would be expected from their years. That has certainly been true of my own life.Another point which would have been, I was going to say good but that would be a wrong word, let us say useful, is to know what the father’s motivation was for kidnapping his daughter. Was it:to hurt his wife;to have someone to dominate, control, abuse;because he actually had a deep down, if warped, love for his daughter;because he was a paedophile?Perhaps it was a combination of all or some of the above.
In the epilogue there is a one-off slight suggestion that he did things to hurt his wife but the point is not clear. The author has written further upon the subject however, I have not read any of these subsequent books. The answers to my queries may be contained in them but I do not know and felt I had to simply give my observations for this book as a self-contained entity.
The author has had to write about horrific and unwonted sexual abuse of all kinds. Despite the warning "Adult language and graphic content" and "Not suitable for children", which it is not, I must commend her on how, thankfully without, in my opinion, being over explicit, she has conveyed her terrible experiences so that we are left in no doubt as to what was going on.
Sue, also suffered a multiple personality, presumably her minds way of dealing with the experiences, with not just one but four different characters. Without this defence mechanism she probably would not have remained sane if she survived at all. I congratulate her upon how she has conveyed these multiple personalities to us. It must have been very confusing for her as a child; adults suffering such find it difficult enough. When reading these passages I sometimes got a little confused with who was whom. For me this was a good point because it helped me understand and identify a little with what she was experiencing.
This is a very emotional read and in no way can it be described as pleasant. I find it hard to give a rating due to the content, which is emotive, and to the fact that reading for us non-professionals is always a very subjective experience. Nevertheless, largely taking into account the nature of this tale, I give it 4 stars ☼☼☼☼.
I recommend the book to everyone, including those who have suffered such abuse, because I consider it a subject we should all be aware of, as sad as it is, and those who identify with Sue’s experiences need to know they are not alone.
You may find more information about Sue Julsen and her books on her website.
The book is available from:
Amazon.com                    Amazon.co.uk