A Book's Journey on Goodreads

With a new release imminent, as well as a "special" appearance (meaning, there was a time slot open April 30) on Dreamspinners' Goodreads group, I can't help but wonder how books must feel once they're out in the GR world.
Here's how I imagine an illustrated autobookography would look. 
CHAPTER I
Woohoo, I'm free! 
And I'm closer to 5 than to 4!  The first people who read me really liked me.  Gosh, appreciation is the best high. Maybe I am good!
CHAPTER II
Okay, can't float above 4.5 forever.
Well, not most of us, anyway.
But I'm doing okay; I'm still in the race, holding my own!
CHAPTER III
Uh-oh. I'm mighty close to that 4 mark.
Nobody's interested in a book that drops below a 4.
Where's all this negativity coming from?  It's weighing me down!

CHAPTER IV
Oh, shit. The nay-sayers' boat has rolled over me!
I'm sinking, sinking . . .
*bbbllllbbbblblblbbbllllbll*

CHAPTER V
[image error]   But here's my dad, the author!
We're not going down without making a statement.
We've had it. Fuck y'all with your 1 and 2 stars
and the woodwork you crawled out of! 
Who the hell are you, anyway? 
Wait, we really don't care.  You're goin' down!
  © 2011, 91.7 % of the Books on Goodreads