If I Stay
Author: Gayle Forman
Published : April 9th 2009 by Dutton Juvenile (first published January 1st 2009)
ISBN : 0525421033 (ISBN13: 9780525421030)
Available format : Hardcover, Paperback, Audiobook
In a single moment, everything changes. Seventeen-year-old Mia has no memory of the accident; she can only recall riding along the snow-wet Oregon road with her family. Then, in a blink, she finds herself watching as her own damaged body is taken from the wreck… A sophisticated, layered, and heart achingly beautiful story about the power of family and friends, the choices we all make—and the ultimate choice Mia commands.
Is it possible for one to be shocked, caught off guard after just reading a few pages into the book? Barely even getting the hang of things and then had their jaw dropped so wide open that it might pop off any second? I did. This is nothing I've ever expected, nothing in comparison at all.
How often that you read a book about the realm of purgatory? The clash between science and religion? Facts and spiritualism? Fiction and non-fiction? (yes, I'm mumbling) As how Kim and Mia grouped things, everything in the world mostly consists of two groups. It's a question about choices.
Purgatory- The world in between heaven and hell. This story was partly narrated from Mia's perspective, and it took place when Mia was stuck in purgatory, dwelling on the right choice. Though it's not accurate to call it purgatory (because she's torn between choosing life and death, not heaven and hell) but to call it otherwise would not properly define what I thought about the state Mia was in;p
I am attracted to how the author had written the story, how I felt Mia being so present yet distant at the same time – the flashbacks to narrating the present. When I read the accident scene, I was struck shockingly, as I mentioned before, just a few pages into the books and the grief had seized me, amazing. And as a matter of fact, my jaw did pop wide open and my mind raced to sort things out. It's not possible! What? How? The accident took me fully by surprise and also spun me off the emotional roller coaster, I found myself to be stiffing a sob when I created the image of the horrid accident scene, and, of course, what took place there. I could just throw up, but I didn't. And as I proceeded through the story, I felt Mia's emotional turmoil even more, her concerns, her worries, her desires, her feeling tired and just wanted to get on with it; I felt her frustration. And with the aid of her flashbacks, I felt myself connecting to the story even more, as if I was bonded mentally (and emotionally) with it. Every time when she recalled her memories with her parents and Teddy, I had the urge to cry, how could such awesome parents die? It seemed impossible, but that's the moral isn't it? That Death is unpredictable?
Having to feel their closeness and then to relate to the present moment when the ties are broken, it's depressing. How would you feel when you woke up one day and find yourself an orphan? It would feel as if you have no more reason to live, and that's what Mia was pondering – giving up. But giving up means dying, and dying means leaving the ones who loved her, those not really her family, but those who mean as much as her family does to her -Adam, Kim, Gran, Gamps…She would hurt them as well. That was why Mia had to choose, to face the unknown, a new realm for her to explore….or….to face the challenge of the known world. And she sure took a long time to figure that out.
I broke down when Kim professed her love (in a weird way) towards Mia, they were best friends and I was also picturing myself as Mia, will I have a friend like this? I cried when Gramps talked to Mia, and even harder when Adam cried, because guys don't cry, and when they do….it means something deep, and I knew that he loved Mia with his whole heart. Yet, I was surprised once again at how everything ended, I think I should put it like this: The ending was predictable but how it ends was unpredictable. Got it?
I loved the way it ends! It put me in the middle of an amazing 'what-the-hell?' moment and also an 'Oh-My-Gosh!!!!' minute. And this is the exact quote of what I said when I finished the book 'How can it just end like that?!' in a shocking, yet, amused tone.
As for the characters, everyone was different and yet fun to read at the same time. All the while while I was reading, it's like every flashback tell us more about someone's personality.
If I stay- The title itself is enough to guarantee myself to cuddle up with this book and escape to a few hours of 'reading wonderland' and promising me that I will ruin my face for this one. If you had a rough day and find yourself wanting to cry but couldn't do so, try reading this. It managed to make me shed tears – I think I've been repeating this plenty times already!
To sum it all up, this is a book about choices, life, and bonds. Pick it up, you might find yourself being insightful later. A standing ovation to Gayle Forman for the extraordinary plot and characters. It was a blast, and it's a good way to start my sleep:) – I can't sleep if I don't read. Habits.
Natasha Anne
