Okay. This is funny.

A reader writes:

News: archaeologists digging near the site of Shakespeare's house in Stratford-Upon-Avon have uncovered a vast labyrinth extending from beneath the property containing countless thousands of small cages, each containing a rudimentary keyboard and a skeleton, probably a primate.

Reminds me of one of my favorite Internet jokes. Namely:

"We've all heard it said that a million monkeys at a million keyboards would eventually bang out the works of William Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know that isn't true."

What's great about Shakespeare is that quoting him just automatically lends class to any proceeding. That, in part, is due to the fact that people typically are selective about Shakespeare. They quote his great heroes and seldom his minor comic characters. So it rare to find someone raising a toast and saying, "In the words of the Bard: 'Monster, I do smell all horse-piss; at which my nose is in great indignation.'" I suppose there might be a social occasion at which such a line would be a fitting, but I'm hard pressed to think of it.