Why I Have an Agent (You Know it's Hard Out Here for a Pimp)

There've been a lot of blogs posted since the Romance Times Convention in Los Angeles last week about the role of agents. Does a new writer need one? Should you want one? And since I write in the ebook market, many folks in my genre and at my stage of the game wonder if an agent is the right choice for them.

It's a do-it-yourself world nowadays and there's a tendency to believe that anyone and everyone should be able to put up drywall, design a website, school their children, publish their own books, and perform their own pap smears with a kit they bought at Walmart.

So sure, you don't *need* an agent. If you're subbing to a publisher that doesn't require an agent, you can do whatever you want. But I have an agent. Her name is Saritza Hernandez and she's with the Lori Perkins Agency. Why do I choose to work with her? Because I understand my limitations.

One of my greatest strengths (besides being a kick-ass author) is I know where I need help. For example: I'm not great at color. I see certain shades in the green range as blue. So when I set out to paint the inside of our house, I hired an interior designer. Not for the whole project– I hired her for one hour. It cost about $100. She did a "color consultation" where she helped me choose tones for my walls. Painting costs a lot of money, so I spent $100 dollars to make sure we weren't investing $1000 on awful shades we wouldn't want to live with.

And yes, my house looks awesome.

Similarly, choosing a publishing house is a long term commitment. You're tied into whatever contract you negotiate for approximately the same amount of time you'll have a given shade of paint on your walls. You don't want to choose the wrong color. Depending on your knowledge of the publishing business, an agent might have a better sense of the right place for your books than you do.

However, my biggest reason for having an agent is that I'm a pushover. If left to my own devices, I would never ask for different contract terms, or request changes to cover art, or…okay– I'm gonna be honest here– demand payment from a publisher that hadn't paid me.

(Hangs head in shame.)

If you know Saritza, you may be laughing right now that she's my heavy. She's the bad-cop, the tough one, the person I can squeak and hide behind. She's really quite nice– but she's an agent. It's her job to get me good terms and make sure I'm happy with my publisher.

Now, most people are not as much of a wuss as me. I'm an extreme example. But as adults functioning in a business setting, we need to know what we're good at as well as the areas where we may need help.

One of my favorite movies of all time is Hustle and Flow. It's the story of a pimp who becomes a rapper and it's very sympathetic to the role of the pimp. He's a glorified taxi driver, a cheerleader, a business manager. One of his girls, Shug, is pregnant and hence staying in his house and not working. I saw an interview with the actress, , where she discussed how she didn't want to take the role initially. As a black actress, she didn't want to play a stereotypical prostitute– especially one who was totally dependent on her pimp.

The film's producer explained the role thus: there are some prostitutes who wouldn't demand money from a client if he refused to pay. They wouldn't or couldn't stand up for themselves, and as such would get eaten alive by any and everyone. A woman like that would be more than happy to ally themselves with a pimp who'd at least make sure she got paid and gave her a modicum of protection.

I'm not arguing prostitution is okay, or that pimps are in general nice people. But the exchange rang a chord for me. I may be very tough about some things, but I'm a wuss about business and money. If I were a publisher running a contract negotiation, it would go something like this:

"Dear author,

Here's a draft of your contract. I hope it's okay with you. Please let me know if there's anything at all you want to change."

"Thanks, publisher! It looks great. I'll send it back shortly."

"Really? Are you sure? Because we can totally change something if you want. It's not set in stone or anything."

"Um, no… It's fine."

"Oh good, because I was worried that you'd want a higher percentage. I mean, I know some of our competitors offer 42% while we offer 40% and I'm so glad you're okay with that."

"Well, actually…"

See! I would bury myself! If I were a prostitute and my client didn't want to pay, I'd be all, "Oh gosh, I'm sorry you didn't enjoy yourself. Here– let me give you a free blow-job to make up for it."

So, there you have it: I like having a pimp. I don't mind giving her a cut of my money, because she makes sure I don't get screwed. If a publishing house stopped sending payment, she'd make sure I followed up (because a portion of that money would be hers.) If a cover's not right at the start, having her on the email loop makes me feel brave enough to say something. If a publishing house left me out of some promotion or screwed up some typesetting issue, she'd make sure they addressed it. Even if the folks at that house weren't thrilled to make the change and I was too timid to ask a second time.

That's why I have an agent.

Do you have an agent? Do you want one? What would be your reasons?