I am not a writer

I don't like to admit I'm a writer.  I'd rather confess to having gonorrhea (which I don't and if you have it that wouldn't change my opinion of you).  Still, I write short fiction, personal essays and have made attempts at a novel-like entity.  I even went to school for this stuff (not that you have to.  I mean, did Dostoevsky go to an MFA program?)  I've also had a few pieces published in literary magazines I can't pronounce.  So I guess that makes me a writer.

But why am I so ashamed of this?  I guess I've read so much great stuff that I don't want to be another hack.  I also know what I'm capable of, and more importantly, what I'm not.  That's not to say I don't stretch, but I know I won't write the next Crime and Punishment.

When asked to guest post I didn't think I'd be such a sad sack.  Hang on:  puppies and kittens!  Well, actually I do have some good news.  I've never met a confident writer.  (I assure you the good news is coming.)  But I have met persistent ones.  And that's the wonder of this enterprise.  We're sometimes insecure, generally rejected, and suffer from the mother of all writer's block.  Yet we persist!  I don't know if we're all masochists or if we have some special reserve of super strength.  But there's something that keeps us ticking, and when it runs dry I go to the writing I love.  I guess writing begets writing.

P.S.  I have gonorrhea.

Guest Post by Abby Rotstein

I've known Abby now for the better part of 5 years. I'll never forget the first thing I heard her say. We were supposed to tell one thing about ourselves and one thing most people didn't know about us. She said,  "90% of the time I'm not serious and most people don't know that 90% of the time I'm not serious." Needless to say, I felt an immediate rapport with Abby. Abby writes on occasion for magazines and entertains the world via her blog AbbyAsks.com.

Abby also had these suggestions for breaking into the magazine world:

Duotrope Digest is awesome.  (duotrope.com)  They have listings for tons of magazines and you can search it by genre, among other cool features.  Also, the best thing to do is follow the submissions guidelines to the letter.  Editors are grumpy and swamped with subs, so it's best not to piss them off.  Plus, do your research.  Most magazines have an online presence.  I look to see what kinds of pieces they publish before submitting mine.  Then I look at the author of that piece and see where else he or she may have published.  This gives me more leads.  Finally, I keep track of my stuff by spreadsheet.  I recommend it b/c you'll have a lot of stuff out there and you may lose track of it.  If you do lose track, you may wind up bugging a grumpy editor and that's no good.  P.S. Send editors money.  They like that.

Check her out: AbbyAsks.com