No. I don't want to.

I love writing. I really do. But today is the day I start a new book and I honestly can't believe I have to do it. I have to put together another 90,000+ words. I have to do that, right now. As soon as I stand up from this blog, it's start writing time. It's marked in blue marker on my calendar. Start Book Today.

Doesn't that seem ridiculous? If I start this right now, I jump right back into the grind. And I just left that grind, spent a week and a half reading and contemplating closet cleaning, picking fights with my husband and it was good. Normal. Lazy, even. But that's all over as soon as I open that file. The next months will vanish in character arc contemplation, arguing with myself over scene selection, hating my poor grammer and limited vocabulary, feeling good about myself only to feel terrible about myself ten minutes later. Getting caught up in some delicious suprise I didn't see coming and some hidden part of my character I managed to unearth. And then, when it's all over, worrying that it's just not good enough.

Ugh.

It's not that I'm not excited about my idea - I totally am. I have an opening scene in mind. But I have to start a book today. Just seems surreal.