How To . . . Handle Rejection
By Diane Dooley
Every writer will be rejected at some time or other and, at first, it's most likely that you will be rejected over and over again. It's important to know how to handle the ongoing rejection because if you don't you will either give up in a heap of soggy tissues or go entirely crackpot insane.
As someone who has done both on one occasion or another, I am here to give you my DO's and DON'Ts of handling rejection. I speak with experience.
DON'T think there is something special about you because you've written a poem/short story/novel. Thousands upon thousands of people do it every year. If you can avoid getting a big head about your writing you'll find rejection so much easier to deal with.
DO have a support network. Whether it's a relative, a close friend or a writing group or online community, it's wonderful to have a shoulder to cry on, a voice to cheer you on or someone who will deliver a swift kick to the rear when necessary.
DON'T believe your mother when she tells you your writing is god's gift to literature, that you are a genius and immediately starts telling all her friends that she has birthed the second coming of Shakespeare. Get feedback on your writing from the brutally honest only. It's preferable if they don't love you to bits. It makes being honest with you so much easier.
DO buy your mother a house from the literary proceeds if she turns out to be right.
DON'T respond negatively to rejections – even if they're snarky, snotty, mean or wrong.
DO feel free to compose an insulting, vituperative, exquisitely written e-mail or letter expressing your contempt for the editor or agent's misguided lack of appreciation for your masterpiece – if it makes you feel better.
DON't send it.
DO continue to submit your writing, after you've edited and polished it to the best of your ability, to carefully selected markets and agencies.
DON'T give up. The writing biz is a slow one. You can wait forever and a day for word on your favorite story. Sometimes the word is 'no." Usually the word is "no." But every now and then the word is "Oh My God. We LOVE this story. Thanks you so MUCH for sending it to us. We WANT to publish/represent. You are DA BOMB!"
DO pat yourself on the back when you get an acceptance.
DON'T think that this means you will never be rejected again. You will be, and probably on the same day that you received your acceptance if my experience is anything to go by.
DO believe in yourself and your writing. If you don't have the courage to get your writing out there, then you're not even in the game. Every rejection is a badge of honor for an individual with the guts to try. Receive them proudly.
DON'T whine about your rejections on the internet. Even if your blog is read only by your granny and your beloved cat there are, nevertheless, a gazillion people who will find it the minute you start to bitch. They will point at you, laugh at you, sneer at you and share your blog post with as many people as they can find. Even if the humiliation doesn't kill you, your barely existent reputation will never recover.
DO keep a sense of humor. Because, dear writer, you will need it. If you think a rejection is hard to handle, then just imagine how a bad review is going to affect you. Far better to giggle, snicker, smile or outright guffaw than pout, snivel, weep or go batshit crazy.
DON'T take it out on your loved ones. It's not their fault that "some nameless editor from some no-name 'zine rejected your stoopid story after sitting on it for six months." They probably won't say that . . . but it's what they're thinking.
DO thank the lovely Julia Knight for inviting me as a guest on her blog.
DON'T hold her responsible for my opinions.
DO check out my novella, Blue Galaxy, which will be released as an e-book on May 9th by Carina Press. Audio book release date to be announced.
DON'T read it if you object to science fiction with oodles of violence and lashings of sex.
DO come visit me on Facebook, Goodreads or my blog. I'd love to meetcha!
When she is not writing science fiction, romance or horror – sometimes all in the same story – Diane can be found chasing her children, geeking out with her husband, working a full-time job, indulging her addiction to Youtube or, most likely, reading.
Diane's horror short stories have been published by several online horror venues and she has a science fiction romance novella, Blue Galaxy, due for release May 9, 2011 from Carina Press. You can find her on her blog, on Facebook and on Goodreads.
She is also a regular contributor at The Galaxy Express as her alter-ego, Agent Z.
The Kindle version of Blue Galaxy is currently available for pre-order.
