A correction to the hostage situation, and another TL;DR ramble…
Right, before I get to the TL;DR ramble, I need to issue an important correction. I said in my last post that I wanted to see 20 sales on Sandy Morrison and the Pack of Pussies before Saturday, April 8. This is wrong for two reason, not the least of which is that Saturday is the NINTH of April. (y_-) It's also wrong because I'm not doing as much promotion these days. My goal would be a stretch even if I hustled 24 hours straight. But I'm not doing 14 hours of promotion now, or even 4, so my promotions need more time to reach readers.
BUT, even if I could convince all my readers to buy on the same day, 20 sales by the 9th is going to be…problematic. It's not fair as an incentive either. "Here's the offer!" *SWOOSH!* "Too late! Hahahaha!" Just…no, too evil. Thus, readers have until Saturday, April 23rd to help me come up with 20 sales. If I still can't get 20 by the 23rd, then the Mendoza's are going away until September.Okay, no, wait…May, June… YES! September!
This brings me to today's rambly topic, although I'll try to contain this to 4 pages. Anything past 5 will be ignored anyway, right? In essence, I want to make my pitch to you to be a critical reader of my work instead of a casual reader. Please note that there is nothing wrong with casual readers, in theory. But for an amateur like me, too many casual readers means guaranteed stagnation and obscurity. Casual readers have no vested interest in my success or even in my continued progress on any one series. Thus, they feel no need to help me improve, nor do they wish to help promote the work to other readers. If every series I launch succeeds, they don't care. If every series I launch fails, they still don't care.
The thing is, the online experts predicted this right from the start. Free readers do not chip in money. They do not help promote the work. Being blunt, free readers are entitled cheapskates who think that just paying for Internet access entitles them to be entertained. Like cable TV. Even Stephen Fuc-King (Genius) could not make an online serial pay, though he could pick up plenty of free readers. (I didn't find this out until 2 months ago. I was so depressed when I realized how long I'd been running a fool's errand.)
Some casual readers are going to be put off by my plans to recruit less of them and more critical readers. But the problem I have with casual readers is, they don't buy anything. If I put stuff out for free, they'll read one story after another. But they won't rate anything, or comment on my work. They won't review anything despite me making monthly requests, and they wouldn't offer any form of financial support to keep the site running, or to cover operational expenses like cover artists and an editor. They WILL show up so long as I have something free to give, but the moment I ask for something in return, I'm demanding WAY too much.
I've reminded blog readers often that I have MS, and that this writing gig is supposed to cover some of my expenses so hubby can start putting away funds for our retirement. But my free readers didn't care enough to offer support under any circumstances, in any form, for any reason. Writers did, and every large donation to my site came from writers, never from a dedicated reader or fan. 100% of the marketing help I've had is other authors. But the free readers, who benefit most from my work, do not feel inclined to help.
Despite the constant assistance of other writers, I'm always investing money in promotions, and I'm never getting any money back out from sales or ad revenue. For as much as I promote, I really NEED to see some kind of critical reaction for the few copies that do sell. When they don't, there's nothing for me to work with as a promotional angle. Getting one extra sale is meaningless as a selling point. Getting one extra review is not, even if it's a really short review. It still give me the chance to say "ReaderX gave me three stars for X Story," and post a link to the review.
Yet some casual readers refuse to understand why their silence is so deadly, or so frustrating. Some of you came to my comments on the FU post to attempt to lecture me over my attitude. Apparently, I'm supposed to be grateful that you'll visit my site at all, and if you only mooch and never help pay any of my bills, "boo hoo, bitch," and I totally asked for it by giving you the "try before you buy" option. If I was dumb enough to let you milk the cow for free, haha, joke's on me.
You've made it clear that free readers cannot respect me as an artist to provide even the barest amount of fan loyalty. So yes, I closed the free shop, and I will move everything to a paid storefront. Every privilege that I extended as a courtesy to establish my writing credentials has been rescinded, so I expect this means a lot of free readers are leaving. Some of you may have stuck around to see what happens next, and if you did, I'd like to make an appeal to you to try this relationship over. Anyone else reading this is made up of the folks who were already supporting me and knew you were cool during FU'11. Then there's some of you possibly showing up because of the FU. You're either hanging out to see the next explosion, or you got my frustration and you're deciding which story to pick. I know you're there because you emailed me or sent comments to one of the two blogs.
Altogether, though, there's not a lot of you left. I expected that given such drastic measures, and I know the last thing you'll want from me is a list of demands. So, let's call these requests instead. If you can't humor me for these requests, then please do not buy my books. I'm quite serious, and I am willing to sacrifice sales if it means reaching the right kinds of readers. I've had plenty of the wrong kinds, and I'd rather cast them away and try again rather than keep banging my head against a wall of indifference.
First of all, please be aware that the moment you buy a book, I get an email alert about it. I am totally aware of your purchase, and yes, I am keenly interested in your progress. BUT, I don't actually know which one of you bought a book. A friendly tweet or a note on my Facebook wall would be super. If my book is going to be tossed in the TBR pile for reading much later, telling me that would help too. I know it's not time to dial up the melodrama just yet.
When you at last pull the book out of the TBR pile, tweeting to me or sending a note on Facebook is being supportive. One, it tells me to get set for your verdict. (IE: set out rum for celebration and absinthe for mourning) Two, it tells your friends and mine that you're about to read one of my titles. You don't have to make it grand, like:
"STAND BACK, BITCHES! I'MA READ ONE OF ZOE WHITTEN'S BOOKS, AND I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN PREPARE MYSELF PROPERLY FOR THE FUCKING AWESOME THAT IS SURE TO FOLLOW."
(Totally do not need you to do that…but if you did, I would cream my panties and die from a squeegasm. No, for reals, yo.)
When you finish the story, send out a short verdict on one of the social networks, and be blunt. If your first reaction at the end is meh, then just say "meh." Or say, "Good job," or, "you suck," or, "hey biyotch, good luck with those guitar lessons, ye feckin hack!" Just let go with whatever first impression you have at The End. But if you feel the need to gush and sing my praises, dear god, please, do not hold back. Make a glowing review as if my health depends on it. Because, being perfectly blunt, it does.
REVIEW, PLEASE. I cannot stress this enough. I could write six pages of examples where someone giving a good review also sent in a little note like "But this part totally did not work for me. Everything else was great, but this? Ugh, not buying it." PEOPLE, PAY ATTENTION: I learn more from that one sentence than I do from line after line of praise. Not all praise is bad, and lots of you have blown me away with your positive observations. So you can send sunshine and happy vibes all you want. But be sure to think of at least one thing you didn't like. Trust me, it helps.
ALSO, you folks who write emails sometimes drive me crazy because you write a beautifully eloquent review for my work, a veritable essay worthy of reposting on every telephone pole and sleeping hobo, and HELL-O I could sure use this kind of in-depth analysis on a Smashwords review. If you write me a really awesome email review, why not copy that beauty to Notepad, and then paste it at Smashwords, Goodreads, Library Thing, Facebook, MySpace, your blog, possibly even your favorite forums, reading clubs, or HAM radio groups? If you aren't ashamed of me, you could even introduce me to your parents. (Yes, this is a rawther tacky guilt trip, isn't it?) If you loved the story enough to share so much with me, please, show me just a little more love by sharing your opinion with the outside world. And YES, include your complaints. The honesty is refreshing, for me, and for other readers. No, I won't bite you for complaining. I will drink and curse your mother in private, spilling drunken, bitter tears long into the night, until my red eyes are so puffy I can blink and wash my forehead. but I will accept your complaints humbly. (And kill you in a later story, most likely. Nothing personal, mind you. I'm just crazy.)
So, I've asked for a few bits of promotion online, and a review. Is there anything else my whiny ass wants? No, though there is another related topic I would like to cover. I know that many readers don't like reviewing because they don't know what to say. So, to help you sort out some early reviews that will be helpful to both a writer and to readers, let's start with basic questions:
Overall, did you like the story?
If no, what was the biggest flaw that ruined it for you? And the second biggest?
(Write these down in Notepad, add any extra gripes you think of, and paste the note on Smashwords as your review. Hand me one or two stars and walk away) OR;
If yes, what was your favorite part of the story? And the second best?
Even if you liked the story, think of one scene or flaw that just didn't work for you.
Which was your favorite character? What helped you decide to like them?
Who did you like the least? What was the turning point that made you hate them?
What do you think of the ending? Was it satisfying, or too rushed/hokey?
(Type in Notepad, paste review to Smashwords, and decide if I earned 3,4, or 5 stars)
This is a list of example questions, and you only need to pick three, maybe four at most. Your entire review shouldn't take more than two minutes to write, three if you're a slow typist, or five if you're really thoughtful in searching for the right words. Or you can do the whole list if you feel inspired to gab, which could take as long as ten minutes. In any case, no matter how short or long your answers to these questions are, this can still be a working review. It tells readers something about the story without being too detailed or dropping spoilers (Another big worry that stops readers from reviewing, not wanting to spoil it), and you can add whatever else you feel is relevant. If you feel like posting a spoiler, just add *SPOILER ALERT* before it to be courteous to other readers. Remember, your review is more of a communication to other readers than it is to me. As a side bonus, it gives me a peep into your head to see how you reacted to my work, but think first of what you want to tell other readers. If you make a short report for them (and for me) it's win-win for everybody.
I'm sure some of you are still upset that I would ask for this much. Please, try to put this request for your time into perspective. I took 3-8 weeks to write the rough drafts, and 3-9 months to write through the various revisions. I sank countless hours into reading aloud, often working until I have a raw throat and creaky voice. I have quite literally edited my fingers to the bone for you. By the time you see a published 1st edition, I will have invested almost a year into the project in the effort of giving you the cleanest, least bumpy text ride possible. And if you find a mistake and bring it to my attention, I will whack that error like it ain't no thang. Depending on your reading speed and habits, you may get anywhere from one to fifteen hours of entertainment out of one story from me. After all the time I've invested on your behalf, all I'm asking for is two to five minutes to let me know if I did my job right or not. Is that really so wrong? If it is, then I don't want to be right. (Admit it; you saw that coming.)
If you don't believe I should ask for this much time in return after all the time and energy I've invested in recruiting you, there really is no point in you buying my books. You are not the reader I need to help me reach a new audience. I've made my case over and over again when my stuff was offered under "try before you buy," and people did not take me seriously. So now there's no more free stuff. (And people STILL said, "I thought you were joking.") I will continue to make my case now that I'm on the "buy before you try" model. Without your help in recruiting other readers, I will never have a release sell 200 titles on opening day, or even in the opening month.
It's a simple trade, time for time. So, are you willing to help me, or are you ready to give me the finger and hit the door?
