The Social Network

This is the story of Alexis D'Bourne,

A girl quite addicted to internet porn,

She cared not for Facebook or My Space or Skype,

Or You Tube, Live Journal or networking hype.

She said to her girlfriends, although you may mock,

I'm a girl quite enamoured with internet cock,

I don't care for email or family schism,

I just want to see blondies all covered in gism.

So send me hunk porn stars from Maine to Niagara,

A shipload of condoms and a case of Viagra,

A room with fast broadband to feed to my habit,

A packet of wet wipes and good rampant rabbit.