then and now

It's been two days now since the launch of WHERE SHE WENT and I can't help thinking about how different things are since IF I STAY launched two years ago. But not different for the ways that I think most people assume that they'd be different.

Before I mention what's different, I should tell you what's the same:

I am still neurotic: About my writing (is it good enough? is it better than the last thing I wrote? will anyone read it?) and my career (again, will anyone read it? ) and other annoying stuff.

I still live in the same apartment.

I still buy my clothes at consignment stores (hello Beacon's Closet) and at Century 21, the best discount department store in the world!

I am still me.

But much is quite different, and that became apparent on launch day.

No, actually, the difference became apparent the day before, when the Happy Pub Day tweets started to pour in.

There was no Twitter in 2009, or there was but no one was on Twitter. And even if they had been, I didn't know any of you yet. But now I do. And the tweets continued on though pub date, an avalanche of good wishes, from this community of…readers. A community I didn't have before.

Community. Even virtual ones, are incredibly nourishing. That is one huge change.

An ancillary change, also dealing with community, became apparent the night before publication. And  it happened with flowers. These flowers, in particular.

Followed, a day later by these lovely tulips:

Both of these gorgeous—and generous!!—bouquets came not from agents or from editors or from family even (though my mom and dad sent a stunning bouquet). They came from fellow YA authors, from women unknown to me two years ago, women with whom I became friends, first through mutual admiration and then through the real bonds of genuine affection. I, of course, had friends two years ago, but not many author friends. And few friends in the YA world. Now that has changed. I am part of a community now.

I am actually part of many communities. Like a tree with roots digging into the ground. And trust me, a tree as neurotic as me needs it.

The mingling of these communities came together—literally—at the launch party. I looked out on the crowd and saw them.

First there was my family, well Nick and Willa, anyhow (Denbele, another big change since two years ago, is still 3 and was home with a sitter). There were all the Penguin Peeps. There was my fairy godmother from Oregon (doesn't everyone have one?). Then, there were my neighborhood people, my kid friends, their kids. Here's Miss  Willa—who stole the show, many times, like when I was explaining how the 25-cent-for-every-swearword policy we had at home would be in effect tonight, raised her hand to fink on me how at home I sometimes don't pony up—with some of her peeps.

Here's my friend Jena, one of my original neighborhood Mom friends. She's a babe, no? Nick didn't do such a hot job as staff photographer so Jena will have to be a stand-in for all the awesome moms in my community who came out (Isabel, Lucia, Melissa, etc.)

Then there were people like this, Frankie and Janine from The First Novels Club, bloggers who I have never actually met in person, but have become friends with over the past two years. They took the train in all the way from Philadelphia. Seriously! Mitali Dave, another blogger friend came in from Jersey. Ditto Lacey from Staten Island. People, that blows me away.

Then again, maybe they came for the cupcakes?

This guy totally did—and the quarter he earned from the F-Bomb I dropped during the reading (channeling Adam, not as Gayle!).

Ohh, cupcakes. Wait, focus, Gayle, focus.

So, I'm not going to bother with the update of the reading. If you're interested, you can read a recap at the First Novels Club.

Instead, I want to take you back to the Then-Now theme. To when IF I STAY came out. I spent that day roaming around Brooklyn bookstores looking for a copy of the book and feeling let down when I didn't find it (I also had a nice lunch with my friend Heather, who also came to this reading. Yay Heather!).

This time, I spent the day running lots of errands. I didn't check bookstores. I got lots of lovely well wishes on Twitter and FB and real life but otherwise stayed clear of my computer (and Amazon ratings, and no one around me is allowed to mention them). There was no sense of anti-climax because though the book comes out on the one day and the launch party is on the one day, the rest of it continues. The friendships I have built in the last two years, IRL and virtual—these are here day in and day out. There is no comedown from that.

Community. It can be so elusive, yet it is the most important thing. The family you create outside your family. And there are so many ways to build community. Of all the wonderful things the last two years have brought me, it's this sense of community that  made this launch day so different. That makes everything so different.

And that all comes down to you.

Of course, it always comes down to you.

Maybe that's the lesson for a successful launch. It really is all about you!

So, that is my typically longwinded way of saying: Thank you.